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Worse than Nicholas

I really like Mock The Week; it’s one of my favourite TV shows. Frankie Boyle is perhaps the best comic of the last 30 years; Dara O’Briain is hard to spell but excellent; Hugh Dennis was the funniest one in the Mary Whitehouse Experience and remains so; Russell Howard is remarkably entertaining for a small child; and guest panelists ranging from David Mitchell through Rich Hall to Jo Brand add sparkling wit and entertaining excellence.

But Andy Parsons is the most unfunny, dislikeable, tedious wanker ever to have appeared on the television. Why is this thick, irritating eejit allowed anywhere near humans, never mind what would be, apart from his own revolting visage and distressing voice, the best show on television?

Seriously. What the fuck is this man doing being rated by anybody, ever?

If you like Andy Parsons, please say so in the comments. If, more likely, you don’t, then please repost this on your blog if you’re a massive geek, or forward this to your mates if you aren’t. I’m desperate to know who finds him funny, or why the hell he’s on telly if – as I suspect – nobody does.

  1. January 24th, 2009 at 02:36 | #1

    I like Andy Parsons. I think he is very funny, and my spirits lift a little whenever I turn on the TV or radio and he happens to be performing. Your pain is my delight.

  2. January 24th, 2009 at 02:43 | #2

    Sorry, I meant to say “please say *why*” in the comments. How can you possibly find such a grating tool uplifting (other than ‘by comparison’, which I accept is the sole reason I appreciate Jimmy Carr).

  3. January 24th, 2009 at 07:45 | #3

    Fuck knows who he is – is it THAT long since I have been in the UK?

    Basically I can’t say why I would like him or not, but a Google said he was at Cambridge – could that be why he is a tosser?

    Frankie Boyle is a complete fuckwit!

  4. hellblazer
    January 24th, 2009 at 08:31 | #4

    From what I’ve seen (*cough* youtube), I quite like his delivery, even if his material is banal. (Sorry if that’s not very informative, but off the top of my head I can’t recall specific points.) Rather him on MTW than Hislop on HIGNFY, who really gets on my wick these days.

    That said, Parsons, is carried by the other three principals, quite markedly. Dennis gets away (IMHO) with weak or lazy stuff, based on very good technique. But he’d be the one who was actually funnier in pub conversation probably (and some combination of O’Briain and Boyle the most interesting).

  5. January 24th, 2009 at 13:04 | #5

    To be fair, there are plenty of shitter comedians around, but I do object to (a) his awful Bill Oddie voice, and (b) the way he cuts other comedians off mid-flow.

  6. January 25th, 2009 at 00:56 | #6

    I hate Andy Parsons on MTW. His radio show is a bit funnier, but everything he gets in on MTW is really obvious and dull. At least Hugh Dennis manages to do his repetitive jokes with some style (”Are YOU paying too much for your car insurance?” in the Queen’s voice = brilliant even the fiftieth time).

  7. Richard J
    January 26th, 2009 at 11:26 | #7

    My personal feeling is that every time somebody tries to book Andy Hamilton, they suffer from a momentary confusion over which comedian called Andy with a sarcastic Estuary accent they meant to book.

  8. ajay
    January 26th, 2009 at 17:48 | #8

    I agree with Richard J – in fact, when I read this post, I thought “Unfunny, dislikeable, tedious wanker? The short guy with the beard? But he’s great!”

  9. Neil
    January 29th, 2009 at 12:11 | #9

    I must admit I didn’t even know the Andy Parsons one’s name. If someone had asked me “what programme features Andy Parsons?” I wouldn’t have known the answer.

    I’d remembered the names of all the others off MTW, even Lee Mack and it turns out he’s not even on MTW.

    I therefore conclude you do indeed have a point.

  10. May 3rd, 2009 at 19:06 | #10

    Andy Parsons is as funny as a burning orphanage. How does he manage to mainain a TV career? Is his presence on TV a curse placed on us by some gypsies we’ve pissed off?

  11. July 14th, 2009 at 00:42 | #11

    In fact you are all wrong. Parsons is merely the worst thing about a show that always has me wishing the week, and for that matter, the world, would end there and then. That ugly cunt out of TMWE makes the proverbial burning orphanage seem pants-wettingly funny by comparison; I neither know nor care who the bloke with the Bristol accent is; and Eau’Bh’riaiaiaian and Boyle evidently leave their comedy chops at the stage door.

  12. Liz
    August 19th, 2009 at 23:21 | #12

    Thank god you find this man a waste of space on Mock the Week, I thought I was the only one. He’s taking up a position that could be filled by someone else. Anyone else.

    His delivery is patronising and irritatingly slow, consisting of a drawn out statement (normally concerning some well thought out policy) repeating this statement with emphasis on some particularly boring aspect followed by a humourless and obvious line to finish.
    If I hear his sole joke on “British people love to be in a queue, it’s what we’re good at” one more time I’ll cry.

    Ta very much for providing space for my dislike.

  13. stew
    February 4th, 2010 at 18:52 | #13

    i wish death upon this cunt

  14. Davy Hepburn
    March 7th, 2010 at 04:17 | #14

    Parsons is a cretin of the nth degree and SO boringly unfunny …. good if you want an accompaniment to suicide maybe

  15. Davy Hepburn
    March 7th, 2010 at 04:18 | #15

    Ohhh and did someone once tell him that shouting stuff made it funner?

  16. martin
    March 22nd, 2010 at 01:04 | #16

    I hate the slapheaded foul mouthed cockney twat passionately.I can’t watch MTW anymore cos he annoys me SO much..

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