Banditry

• I need to do five weeks' work in five days #betweenthisandtheeuphoriaoftheelectionresultthiswillbethebestweekever @unsungsongs #
• RT @serafinowicz: "I hate knowing everything. It spoils films, etc." ~ God #
• I hope Wyclef does end up as President of Haiti. I'd also like to see Dizzee Rascal as UK PM… #
• Loads of new content on #ebz. Curses, this was supposed to be my work week… http://fallenlondon.com/c/220040 #
• Utter genius – the election as manga video game animation: http://bit.ly/bbBUtd (via @mumbrella) #
• Great Charlie Brooker piece on the Ground Zero mosque: http://bit.ly/9K4kZk (shorter: "it's not on G0 and it's not a mosque, you fucktards") #
• This made me laugh a lot. I'm not quite sure why. NSFW: http://bit.ly/btAwJ1 #
• Or Ayesha, for extra lolz RT @emeraldbile: solution for G0 mosque. Build it, but put a statue in the front of Fatima sucking Mohammed's cock #
• RT @PreachyPreach: There are c. 70k paid jobs as journos and writers in the UK. Each year, there are 70k journalism + English grads. #
• A good piece for non-Australians who're confused by #ausvotes http://bit.ly/9GuTyj (and probably some Australians, too) #
• CROWDSOURCE: does anyone have any info on how Hindus/Buddhists/animists (ie non-'people of the book') were treated in Al-Andalus? #
• Also, BBC needs chess editor says UK Chess Society RT @mediaguardian: BBC needs religion editor, says Church of England http://bit.ly/dbq5KD #
• Enjoying the new #ebz content muchly. http://fallenlondon.com/c/222064 #
• Haha, excellent: http://yourmotherlikesit.blogspot.com/2010/08/comic-sans.html (@chrissiem and any other typography geeks) #
• The official tourist board account for Worcestershire, @Worchestershire_, is following me. #
• I find this slightly odd, as I've never tweeted about Worcestershire, and indeed have only been there once. It was OK. #
• Maybe that's their cunning strategy. "If we can get 000s of leading Twitter mavens to say 'yeah, Worcestershire's OK', people will come!. #
• Damn you, you cunning Worcestershire marketeers. Visit Worcester. It has cunning marketeers, a Wetherspoons, and some sauce. #
• Right, that's enough work. Well, it's not enough work really, but I'm utterly fed up and it's trivia time. TO THE PUB. #
• RT @brappy: Fighting two simultaneous land wars in Asia? Sign me up #unfortunatewordsfromhistory #
• Unless I've misparsed this, SMUGGEST PARENT EVER RT @RJPartington: BREAKING NEWS: One less place at Oxford/Cambridge University for 2028/29. #
• Fuck, did just fail. I blame geography and Cameron-avoidance. Sorry @RJPartington #
• Again, sorry to @rjpartington. Disagree, though – Blairlings ended up at non-Oxbridge institutions despite paternal importance… #
• As ex-target schools (=make Ox less posh) rep, hope Cameronlets don't get in. *disclaimer* or if they do it's on strict academic merit…. #
• So there's a flight aggregator site for domestic Australian flights promoting itself heavily on TV. Erm, with 3 airlines, we're OK, right? #
• Yes, there's also Tiger, but seriously – having seen the doco, would anyone really fly with them? #
• Quite grumpy my dad never got around to buying Monotype – by the time he'd got the (really not very many) $ together, Mr Gates outbid him. #
• No, my dad doesn't have any *actual money* but he's a typography geek and noticed DTP was gonna make MT profitable. Am still church mouse. #
• LIKE -> RT @dixewills: Rumour Nick Clegg introducing legislation obliging all new fathers to take 5 years' paternity leave (via @ianvisits) #
• World Of Accurate Stereotypes FTW RT @unslugged: Polish man "did not remember being shot because he was drunk" http://bit.ly/dBrxJa #
• Proof that having a physics degree doesn't stop you being a mad crank who believes unscientific bullshit: http://bit.ly/c7jjtx #wifi #
• Work going tolerably. #ebz going better. http://fallenlondon.com/c/223933 #
• No. NEXT! RT @itlt: Will Australia be 100% powered by green energy in 10 years' time? http://bit.ly/a4m0X8 #
• Wouldn't it be delightful if everyone who supports the death penalty were executed by mistake, just as they wish on others? #happydreams #
• RT @NathanaelB: My Tiger experience starts with lights in corridor leading to tarmac off, so descended stairs in the dark. Oops! @pdidzzy #
• Squee! RT @nickjbarlow: BBC Four adapting Dirk Gently for TV: http://bbc.in/cHx1lW #
• Politicians: if you make a short factual piece that could easily be in text as a video, I'm unlikely to bother viewing it. @greenjennyjones #
• BHP Billiton definitely couldn't afford to pay any more tax at all, no, not a penny: http://bbc.in/cazBKq #poorbuggers #givethemabreak #
• This is what happens when you're an analyst & you move to Aus… RT @punkscience: @johnb78 Fair enough. I crown you King of Coal Geekery!:~P #
• I actually rather like the terrible Chinese Olympic sock ad – kinda mantra-like… #gruen #
• Wow, Wednesday night ABC1 is really, really good. #somehowbeentoobusyfor6months #noshutupsarkyBritsAusTVcanbereallygood #
• Loving the hipster from Melbourne, who's mysteriously Brett Anderson #ywc #
• I prefer drunk mates: RT @VizTopTips: CAN't afford buckaroo? Simply pile items on a sleeping elderly relative until they wake up screaming. #
• RT @scattermole: Jajajaja. RT @GrantStatic: http://twitpic.com/2i1ea5 #
• Ice cream (flogged til the company's on its knees) #brettmeals @reallybanderson #
• And its counterpart, Holding Back The Ears #bestialitysongs @duckorange #
• RT @duckorange: #bestialitysongs Bunny's Too Tight To Mention #
• Nothing Compares To Ewe #bestialitysongs #
• Cum On Kids #bestialitysongs @martin_carr #
• Trout Gimp Mask Replica #bestialityalbums #
• Dinah-Mo Hummingbird #bestialitysongs #
• Fuck The Penguin Away #bestialitysongs #
• Ride The Tiger, Hard #bestialitysongs @martin_carr #
• Chris Rea #
• RT @hangbitch: RT @TheMightierEvo: Nowadays, the term 'sick pay' means to be on a good wage. #
• Yay. A new AUS digital channel for US crap that's too lame for even Seven and Nine to show already. Aren't we lucky? http://bit.ly/d6Jh0B #
• My last tweet was slightly unfair: some of the decent US shows from Ten will be moving to Eleven. Still not exactly a cultural WIN. #
• Work progresses. UK bank holiday has bought me an extra day, which is kinda lucky. http://fallenlondon.com/c/227918 #
• I like this piece from @chrisk27 on Bez as existentialist icon: http://bit.ly/aHApf1 #
• My dog's got no nose. He can barely find his way around, and I should really get him put down @armyofdave @evilflea #accuratejokes #nonjokes #
• Good news: I've written 3,000 words so far today. Bad news: I need to write another 15,000 minimum by Monday night #eek #
• Tempted to agree with @hopisen that MPs' sexuality is their business – just cos you're gay doesn't mean you *have* to support gay marriage #
• Going the other way is almost (not the same as, but similar to) suggesting Jewish MPs are obliged to support Israel, and so on… #
• Just got 2 emails from @PaddyPower – one reminding me of my GBP100 world cup winnings, one of GBP40 in another account I'd forgotten. W00t! #
• This is excellent, for all you #media types – Edinburgh lecture from the #bbc's Mark Thompson: http://bit.ly/a85T4m #
• An essential gift for the paranoid right-wing bigot in your life: http://bit.ly/aTyd2i #
• Rupert Murdoch (News Corp owns HarperCollins) in 'attempting to dick over the BBC' shock: http://bit.ly/9ZJmzc #
• Quick #ebz and food break, then Back To Work. I love deadlines, me. http://fallenlondon.com/c/230067 #
• 20,000 words. 'ave it. #
• Love the fact that #abcnews has to put a 'this contains coarse language and is not suitable for kids' warning on its political chatshow… #
• Have worked a lot. Brief #ebz break. http://fallenlondon.com/c/232061 #
• Is there something inherent on TV vs movies that 'produced by Jerry Bruckheimer' implies TV will be watchable but movie will be dreadful? #
• Single biggest factor in everything RT @mrpower: Forget the washing machine. THIS is what made the difference: http://twitpic.com/2jd02u #
• Occasional drinkers are sweet, bless: RT @shutupcaf: is it really bad to drink on painkillers even if it's only ibruprofen? will i die? #
• #ausmedia types – anyone know how much Ten paid to get top slot on the Freeview EPG for ONE? Non-Ausmedia types, don't worry. #
• Why no David Mitchell this w/e? Goddamn lazy holidaying Guardian union socialists, etc… #
• CROWDSOURCING: another whisky before bed, or just a cup of herbal tea? Note: it is very lovely whisky. #

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• I've eaten more Subway and KFC on this trip than in the previous 2 years combined. Curse, and yet bless, Finchley. #
• Excellent hangover day with family. Impressively, I wasn't even the most ruined, despite being highly ruined #welshgenes #
• LHR T3 isn't a great terminal, but the champagne bar is jolly enough. Next stop: Hong Kong! #
• UK trip was brilliant, reminded me how much I love my friends… but also how it really isn't my home anymore. #
• Hong Kong: beautiful. My brane: fuxxored. Valium didn't help this bitch. Well, it shortened this bitch's flight I suppose… #
• Jesus but HK is beautiful. Green mountains WIN. #
• Don't take valium and champagne on long haul flights. #donttakevaliumandchampagneonlonghaulflights #
• I keep pressing the "what's happening" button on snaptu, but it doesn't seem to tell me. #whatshappening? #
• Fantastic view of the Macau hydrofoil from my hotel room. It is a silly vehicle. HK harbour is cool. I wish I didn't feel like death… #
• Sun setting on the harbour. Looks amazing. I refer readers to my previous tweets about my unfortunate headstate… #
• Free gift for spending gbp20 in pharmacy was 3 750ml boxes of, erm, something Cantonese. Possibly cat litter? May not make it home with me. #
• Now I has toothpaste, bed. Tomorrow will be Much More Excellent. #
• Bloody jetlag. Should've stayed up all day, got drunk and gone to bed at 2am, instead of dozing/passing out all day and soberish bed by 10. #
• What's the difference between Spurs and the Catholic Church? Spurs got buggered by Young Boys… #
• Had a fucking excellent daytime with @emeraldbile (and I like walking round graveyards with sweaty birds). Hong Kong is awesome. #
• Then had an awesome night out with non-tweeps. Jesus. I could seriously live in this town. Would need a silly job / rich missus, though… #
• In other news, I'm amazed you can buy a really quite decent camera for HK$1390 = GBP139. GBP175 for same chap at duty free. #
• I recognise I was still probably extorted, but needed a camera for the bus home from Stanley. Views is amazings. #
• Apparently, nobody's retweeted me since Jan 2, 2010. Would be reasonably if so, but nonetheless #twitterfail #
• Apparently, nobody's retweeted me since Jan 2, 2010. Would be reasonable if so, but nonetheless #twitterfail #
• And that, Tony Harrison, is why we don't fly on recently-invented-airlines named after ropy 1970s rock bands: http://bbc.in/8ZQQDm #
• I'm not normally up for hanging, but hanging this truckie would be fair play: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-11008584 #
• For those of you (ie, 95% of geeks who use Twitter) love Dr Who, I need to take a photo of the "Ood Jewellery Shop" I passed today… #
• This is bad. I've finally managed to make my phone and Mac talk to each other, so online feels like normal. Except at $15/mb. #mustshutup #
• Internet browser writers: if people write 1000 heartfelt words of email, why not randomly delete it if the connection fucks up? @viztoptips #
• In a very Cantonese cafe indeed. Have ordered some food. Have absolutely no idea what it will be. But it only costs USD2, so that's OK… #
• Well, let's be honest, I've ordered *something*. I'm hoping it'll be food. #
• Hooray: it is food, and it's quite good. If Snaptu wasn't made of pants, I'd stick a photo on Twitpic for y'all… #
• Literally everything is sold in HK backstreets – except noise-cancelling earphones. I guess silence is a concept nobody here understands… #
• Just went into Chinese medicine shop, asked if they had anything for jetlag. They sold me extract of pineal gland. I *am* Dr Raoul Duke.. #
• Am glad that @chrissiem's excited that I'm home tomorrow. I'm excited too. Although kind of sad to leave HK. Will definitely be back! #
• Having almost used up the (good value) HK PAYG SIM I bought today with a few hours' Snaptu, I'm dreading my next UK mobile bill. Eek #
• Yes, I know that using a non-local SIM for data connections abroad is INSANE, but my brain wasn't working properly when I arrived. #
• Immi cleared, now in the quarro queue. So I might escape the airport by lunchtime… #
• And quarro cleared in under 10 mins, thanks to @chrissiem's lollies. JB is back…! #
• I iz on ur eastern distributor, distributing ur eastern. In a cab, obviously – am not feeling suicidal right now… #
• So, I've been out of the country for 2 weeks – am I right that if the ALP lose, it'll be pretty much Kristina Keneally's fault? #ausvotes #
• If anyone knows a commercial building that's more full of WIN, don't tell this one. http://twitpic.com/2gc4ky #
• Crikey on #ausvotes: "The culture war has become personified. The candidates represent something not by what they do, but by who they are." #
• I'd agree with that. And I'd add that for all JG's flaws, if you don't identify with her more than with mad Tony, you ain't my friend… #
• Aww. @firstdogonmoon's "the federal election" cartoon today is terribly sad and sweet. #ausvotes #
• Christ on a bike. The area of the Pakistan floods would cover pretty much the whole habitable area of Australia: http://bit.ly/9iXtIo #
• (yes, I know people claim to live in Adelaide and Perth, but you don't really believe them, do you?) #
• More Pom accents in Bondi Jn Westfield than in bloody London! #sendusback #
• RT @drueyjay: RT @anildash: Because of their track record of killing Americans, I can't support the construction of a Ground Zero McDonald's #
• Freaky. Just minutes after that last tweet, I got an (apparently unrelated) email from Westfield Bondi Junction… #
• Support Democracy! Vote 1 Bandicoot, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! – http://twb.ly/9DWjFx #
• The biggest population of illegal migrants in Australia by nationality is British @roooney83 @TimMav27 #
• NB I won't *actually* be voting Bandicoot, as I'm a wicked job-stealing foreign & don't get a say. Even though you lot can vote in the UK… #
• "The great Labor party machine has failed", says Joe Hockey – I'd love to see @firstdogonmoon draw this occurring… #
• #ifabbottwins I'll probably be deported… #ausvotes #
• If Labor lose because of the swing in QLD, then Mr Rudd will be Australia's Smuggest Man… #ausvotes #
• Gash FOR THE WIN #gilmore #ausvotes #puerilejokes #
• Labor retain #Batman. Coalition retain #CaptainAmerica #Ausvotes #
• Glad I researched the independents last week – assuming the two NSW guys'll support Labor and the QLD guy will support Coalition? #ausvotes #
• Pleased to see the Libs have put up a redhead candidate in Lalor #battleoftherangas #notaveryconvincingbattle #ausvotes #
• When @chrissiem says 'election party', she's not being euphemistical. We really are that geeky. #ausvotes #
• #unlikelycouples Farmer & Ewan McGregor #
• Diane and Tony Abbott #unlikelycouples #ausvotes #
• Bandt wins. #melbourne #fuckyeah #itspronouncedthesameandhasthesameroot #ausvotes #
• OMG! Poor hypothetical Mischa… RT @manipillai: #unlikelycouples Mischa & Joey Barton #
• RT @nickjbarlow: The and John Band? #unlikelycouples #
• If my calculations are correct, @beaugiles can just about beat Wyatt Roy to youngest ever MP at the next election. Bring it on, Mr G… #
• This is the best election night party EVER. And not even the worst election result I've experienced this year. #ausvotes #dualloyalties #
• According to @chrissiem's mum, 6.5% of votes in Lindsay were informal. The current split in Lindsay is 50.3/49.7. You stupid cunts #ausvotes #
• 100% true -> RT @krs133: The ABC coverage urinates from a great height on any of the broadcasters' coverage of UK elections. #ausvotes #
• My and @chrissiem's election party now on bottle 2 of tribute wine – we've finished White Australian and movingon to Ranga (well, Rose) #
• LIES! RT @theday2day: plenty! > RT @spikester: what's wrong with drinking alone? #
• YES WE CAN RT @politic_animal: Can we now tell ppl who said Gillard shows UK Lab shld have dumped Brown for D Miliband to shut up? #ausvotes #
• This is sport! RT @hungbunny: Lots of political tweets coming out of Australia today. Why? Is there no sport on? #ausvotes #
• Some people say 'individual votes don't count;. LIES. Am hugging the person whose 3rd-preference vote could decide the election. #ausvotes #
• 69/69 ALP/LNP. Australian Sex Party sadly not on 69. jb78 and @chrissiem election party briefly distracted #ausvotes #toomuchinformation #
• .@michaellund coalition is a massive improvement on majority Tory (=L/NP) government, which was the UK's only real alternative #ausvotes #
• Hockey sticks #obvious #ausvotes #
• Ashamed to read so many leftwing tweeters rating "obvious vile conspiracies" vs "must be PC about all rape lies" and coming down for #2. FFS #
• Woohoo, the racist party probably wins, but at least we've got a token blackfeller in the house. Representing the racist party #ausvotes #
• Dr Kelly killed himself; people who believe otherwise are loonies. The government did, however, kill thousands of Iraqis based on lies. #
• #whilenooneisincharge let's promote the irresponsible service of alcohol. DRINK LOTS OF GIN THROUGH A STRAW! #
• "Rather than a climate change denier, the bogan is simply a change denier." < @thingboganslike describes the entire CC 'sceptic' mindset #
• Re the #BirminghamThree: if 3 BNPists were sacked for not being bigoted tits, saneworld's reaction would be 'welcome to saneworld'. #

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• Good: fun stag (buck/whatever pre-venison term you like) party. Bad: more than a week of no @chrissiem. She's officially addictive. #
• Actually, I'm not that up for partying. Maybe a cup of tea and a book? #thingsAndrewWKwouldneversay #
• Note to self: #mlf is the Melbourne Literary Festival and has no affiliation with #milf #
• Just passed the world's longest (former) rail platform; now travelling on the world's oldest proper railway. #whereami? #
• Idiot driver. But more importantly, 'D'Marion'? RT @msgracefh RT @MENnewsdesk: Breastfeeding mum is ordered off bus. http://ow.ly/18wlDj #
• I'm using 'proper' to mean 'passengers & freight between towns' – pit lines don't count… #
• Now at the site of the first recorded fatal passenger train accident… #
• Twitteratifail! Manchester to Liverpool, via Newton le Willows, where the first train on the line in 1830 ran over the local MP… #
• Longest platform is the one that ran between Man Victoria and Man Exchange stns. Insert 'man exchange' joke here. #
• RT @minifig: RT @mattuk: How many SEO specialists does it take to change a lightbulb light bulb light-bulb? #
• Now on the Isle of Man ferry. It's grey and the sea's rough. This could be the best 3 hours of my life. #not #
• My boat's called the Mananan. This may be because there are only 3 letters in the Man alphabet… #
• Chap opposite me is from the Falklands. Clearly he has some kind of weird affinity toward cold, remote, British-ish islands… #
• RT @TheFagCasanova: Apparently at his time of death, Jean-Paul Sartre was working on a children's book called 'Why's Wally?' #
• Ferry leaving the Mersey now, leading to an unwanted remembering of Gerry & Pacemakers… #
• Purser is very Scouse. The fillim today is "wharr the wailed things arrrr", apparently. #
• I was wrong; we're *now* leaving the Mersey. #bouncybouncy #
• Assuming T-NoSignal will fail shortly. At sea, hurrah! Doesn't seem as rough as feared; there are even signs of sunshine… #
• RT @duckorange: Rupert Murdoch to sue Murdock from the A-Team over a crime he didn't commit #
• RT @WiredUK: EMI reveals (yet again) why numbskull-run music labels really do deserve to be left to their slow, unlame… http://is.gd/ecSzP #
• On the isle of man. Oddly, foot passengers forced to wait on boat and listen to bad r&b for ages while cars disembark – outrage! #
• On a steam train. Hurrah! I didn't even choose or know about this one… #
• RT @thejimsmith: I just ate a venison sandwich. Can only top with with a swan omelette. #
• RT @each1teach1: Building a mosque at Ground Zero isn't insensitive to victims of 9/11 … but threatening to bomb it *is*. Do you see? #
• On BE163 to the glorious holiday paradise of Luton. Hurrah! #
• Trekking from NW London to SW London is taking even longer than normal, thanks to #tubefail. Currently on a bus c.nowhere (Cricklewood Ln) #
• Approaching office where I used to work several jobs ago. It's still above a strip club. Whole building appears to be empty & to let. #
• Evening timing FAIL. No matter how much you love all the ppl involved, never schedule more than 2 events for the same night. #
• What a beautiful wedding. #mustnotmakePanicAtTheDiscoreferences #
• My girlfriend and I are not entirely the same: RT @chrissiem Morning already. Who switched the sun on? As usual, I don't have a hangover. #

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• Slept for 12 hours. Now feel very nearly human. Who wants to come to the pub tonight? #
• Odd that Gillard is ahead by 15pts on 'preferred PM', but Libs/Lab neck & neck on voting intentions. Scope for Lab to pull back? #ausvotes #
• This Daily Mash anti-BBC piece might work if a) Rover 200s were awesome b) all other cars available anywhere were shit: http://bit.ly/9BWMSB #
• Fucking hell, I've only been gone 2 days and #AustraliaWantsJBback is already trending :-) #
• Don't worry, #AustraliaWantsJBback types – back on Aug 20. You can meet me at the airport if you like. Especially if you give me a lift home #
• Did Tony Abbott *really* just quote Eminem? #ausvotes #boggle #
• Walking down Albert Embankment. Is pretty. Anyone know of a Twitpic or similar uploader for Symbian/Nokia? #
• RT @qwghlm: RT @edent: you know how to find your Estate Agent name, don't you? Take your full name, then add "is a cunt" #
• Quite impressed. Friend's 3yo just picked up a copy of Universal Soldier in the library and said "this is a bad film". CORRECT. #
• At the Carpenters Arms on Whitfield St W1. Why not join me? #
• None Of It's Coming Back To Me Ever #oppositesongs #
• I miss @chrissiem :-( #
• Days In Black Sackcloth #oppositesongs #
• There Are Many Possible Ways Of Life, But None Of Them Are Unique To You #oppositesongs #
• Finally am on a real computer and not a mobile – have dealt with a week's worth of backed-up half-read unsorted email, yay! #
• A fine piece from @angryyoungalex on the 'harm' done by illegal immigration: http://bit.ly/b1FH3Q (spoiler: 'none, you stupid bigot') #
• Better to bribe Catholics w/stupid baubles vs abortion bans, but still LAME RT @abcnews Gillard pledges $1.5m for M MacKillop's canonisation #
• Phil Collins: No Ahmedinejad Required #dictatorsongs #welldictatoralbumsreally #
• Alabama 3 – Mao Tse Tung Said #dictatorsongs #missingthepoint #
• Struggling to work out why it matters at all whether LFC is owned by some Americans rather than a Chinese investment fund – anyone? #
• There's a case for 'all football clubs should be fan-owned mutuals', but if you accept private ownership, why worry about the nationality? #
• Amin the Mahmoud for Dancing, surely? #dictatorsongs @duncanstott #
• "Papa Doc's got a brand new Bagaza", surely? @dontgetfooled #dictatorsongs #
• Wow, the East London Line is awesome. Like a train from the future or some crazy Asian city. Then you end up in Dalston, which isn't. #
• Dalston escaped, in another magical future train. Quite impressed all the tracks for Highbury ELL extension seem to be in place… #
• Made me think of #ausvotes RT @quotestanhope: Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing. #

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• RT @madeupstats: 2 out of 3 fugitive Serbian warlords is now a social media consultant. #
• Good morning Melbourne. In posh hotel with lovely @chrissiem: yay. She has to spend day at conference and I have to spend day writing: boo! #
• Although both parties are a bit lacking on the humane-to-refugees front, not having another debate is a humane-to-Australians win #ausvotes #
• Crowdsourcing: should I subscribe to Crikey, now my trial's almost over? It's awesome, but it's also $150. And I disapprove of paywalls…. #
• Down to only 4 'action required' messages in my inbox. Efficiency WOO! And yes, of course I'm putting off real work, how did you guess? #
• Went up a tower. It was tall. #Vodafail and #Virginfail prevented me from tweeting about it at the time… #
• Missing @stephenfry right now, but Avalon "airport"'s "bar" almost makes up for it… @chrissiem's presence definitely helps. #
• Grolsch for $10 per 6-pack at BWS (with Woolworth's card) is a good deal. Shame I don't live anywhere near a BWS… #
• MP for Penrith (UK) fails hard : http://bit.ly/cao0nS – is there something about place name that makes politicians even worse than normal? #
• Unsurprisingly, I was right about the Brandweek piece on Old Spice being cobblers: month-on-month sales are up 100% http://bit.ly/bvtXPI #
• Pleased to see @roooney83 in the Crikey mailout for busting a racist Lib candidate. Good work fella. In other news, yes I'm gonna subscribe. #
• Dear Heinz. Tins of chicken with chicken legs, dancing to the Birdie Song, is very creepy, and not at all likely to make me want chicken. #
• Making details of everywhere you go available in realtime to anyone who wants to look you up might not be good: http://bit.ly/bUMYXR #shock #
• Why you should never rely on proprietary externally hosted software to store things you care about: http://bit.ly/bNnnG #obvious #
• Correct link for "not relying on proprietary software" tweet. Yes, I relish the irony: http://bit.ly/cAE1J9 (cheers @preachypreach) #
• Fact for day: the average BP employee gets paid US$120,000 a year. That makes Tony Hayward's salary seem quite moderate, really… #
• When I worked as an attendant for Shell, I was employed by Shell directly on a permanent contract – wld be amazed if either occurred now #
• Things the UK does well: TV, movies. Things the UK government wants to abolish: the BBC, the UK Film Council #rightwing=stupid #
• RT @wolfcat: randomrant: So you’re not going to vote Labor because of #nocleanfeed… http://bit.ly/aoahch #ausvotes #
• No fan of UK govt, but seeing a western leader both slating Israel for Gaza policy and backing India over Pakistan is distinctly welcome. #
• Twee but amusant: RT @mpesce: The best of #wookieleaks – http://tinyurl.com/26tk43z #
• I has subscribed to Crikey. First online content I've ever paid (my own money) for. It was the @firstdogonmoon playing cards that sealed it! #
• A letter from a real estate agent to "the owner" explaining how much property prices have risen in my district #thingsmylandlordwillneversee #
• The Facebook 'breach' is an epic non-story: http://bit.ly/c0edU1 – publicly available information made, erm, available to the public. #
• I'm now checked into CX162 to Hong Kong. The trip's finally starting to feel real. In other news, I'm now officially an Australian business! #
• The only thing that can kill an IKEA glass is another IKEA glass. Proven by experiment. #terrifyingScandewegianvoodoo #
• Dianetics. Just, fucking dianetics. #selfhelpfail #
• I actually love this pic too – RT @ChrissieM: Myself and @johnb78 outside the MCG on the weekend. http://bit.ly/dn1UDf *squee!* #
• I genuinely rate the UK's film-making talent and would suggest that only the US has a better movie record #filmconfessions #
• I like this article. The whole point about the UK is *we're not Catholic*, so why're we feting that sick cult's leader? http://bit.ly/9F8CKO #
• The, erm, 20th-ish plane out of Sydney's almost gone, and in only 10 hours I'll be landing in Hong Kong #barneseylied #
• Hooray, am in the UK, *and* Twitter's working now. Mild #branefale from flight; not so much jetlag as '42 hours without bed'… #

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• "the one genuine example of 'political correctness' is the one that stops us from saying 'racist' to describe racism" http://bit.ly/dnL8mD #
• Yet another entry in the LONG 'reasons to loathe and despise #Singapore' file: http://bit.ly/aORW6Z #
• Metrics on Times paywall experiment: http://bit.ly/blw5gi – in short, web paywall FAIL, iPad paid app WIN. Or "the Guardian was right" #
• Crystal-ball-extrapolating: written news articles & blog content to remain free; ever-swishier paid apps to be created… #
• Great piece from Gary Younge on #torycuts. Irrespective of your ideology, it's simply correct: http://bit.ly/a0GrvG #
• You can legitimately say "I want less redistribution of wealth and a smaller state", but not "we have to shrink the state", cos it's a lie #
• Oh, and that one was via @chickyog (bloody 140 limits, etc) #
• #EDL are the racist ones and #EDF are the nucular ones #mentalnotes #
• Motorola gives up: http://bit.ly/97e19R #
• It's weird, normally it's British co's that invent a thing, don't do anything with it, and then other people win at it… #
• OK, tweeters – anyone (even People With Very Real Concerns About Migration) want to make the case for this? http://dlvr.it/2nRqc #
• A good Lord these days is hard to find: http://bit.ly/9xUkVv (via @copyrightgirl) #
• Insane Europhobic myths' Tom Lehrer moment: http://bit.ly/a34ju1 @nosemonkey @jonworth #
• RT @simontkey: A man is looking for the word that's in between contemporary & context in the dictionary. I have nothing but contempt for him #
• When my brane isn't busted w/financial advisor and health food data (freelance grr), I'll write a real article on online media economics #
• I'm #proudofthebbc because, really, FFS – it's aces, and anyone who's ever spent time outside of the UK couldn't fail to notice this #
• Odd article: http://bit.ly/cHhTBU – apparently BP should compensate people for loss of earnings *whilst also paying their wages* – eh? #
• I wish people wouldn't eat parmesan-based foodstuffs in the office #smellslikepuke #
• American tech writers still really don't have a clue about cellular wireless communications, do they? – http://bit.ly/c5Nyu9 #
• phil_q I reckon 15 smaller than AU, rest bigger (haven't looked it up, but only ones I'm not sure are CA and NL – *think* they're smaller) #
• A whale of fhale? Is there something noteworthy occurring? Surely everyone in the populated, Anglophone world's still in bed…? #
• I absolutely 100% salute @cardiffairport's decision to ban sproglets under 10 from their lounge, much as it upset Mrs @alandavies1 #
• If there was an airline that banned young kids, I'd fly with them every bloody time. Constant screaming = not something of which I'm a fan. #
• It ought to be illegal *not* to point out that #Scientology is an evil, sinister, stupid, fraudulent cult: http://bit.ly/cLJbK5 #disgrace #
• One day, we'll all fall over midgets. http://twitpic.com/26y0eg #
• Advert on my bus says "you can beat alcohol". This is lies: you can't beat alcohol… #
• On the bus. Not at the trivia. This makes me a grumpy John. #
• OK, so irony just won: a license to print money isn't, in fact, a license to print money: http://bit.ly/bDvebZ #
• Dear Mark Thompson: can you fix it so that for only gbp146 a year, foreign residents can get all BBC channels on t'Internet? #proudofthebbc #
• As a leftie but also an economist: Ireland's debt's been downgraded because rating agencies are concerned about the breakup of the euro #
• …due to previously not (as) expected Spanish and Greek fails. Not due to the Irish budget cuts. #
• The UK budget cuts are stoopid, but anyone who cites bond ratings or yields as a reason for or against them is an eejit. #
• IKEA just won the "wine glass propelled off 1m high desk to floor without smashing" game. IKEA is better than any expensive suppliers… #
• Bed. Enjoy everything, everyone. Don't say I didn't tell you so. #
• Good piece from @felixsalmon on wine-snobbery vs wine fun: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE66J12X20100720 #
• His aside on the way US culture means kids grow up without ever tasting wine, & implications for later life, is particularly interesting. #
• Goldman Sachs reporting EBITDAF, where 'F' is fines – http://bit.ly/aid6y6 – maybe BP should do the same… #
• RT @squeakaz HAHAHAHAHA my neighbour has locked himself out. silly old man! This has made me lol for first time is 3 days! #
• RT @mpesce Have locked myself out of my flat. This is what happens when I rush. :( #
• Coincidence, or something a little more sinister? #
• I wonder who's lying here, and why? http://bit.ly/aWhApQ – this sort of thing literally does not happen, at least not in the way described #
• My best guess is that the posh walkers got some verbal abuse from the chavs and rather daftly had a go back at them, but ICBW. #
• OK, she's clever & they're a young company, but I don't think Facebook were wise to hire an 8-year-old as their lawyer: http://bit.ly/99H9og #
• This is bloody good -> RT @TheFirmOnline Editor's blog. The art of distraction over the Pan Am 103 fiasco- http://tinyurl.com/37e8l7m #
• Wow, babybarista's dad is officially excellent RT @babybarista: Lovely letter in Indy from my Dad Rob the Rubbish! http://bit.ly/dCa5aa #
• Grad tax advocates: why should a rich lawyer who went to uni pay more tax forever (once fees paid off) than a rich salesman? I don't get it. #
• Note to Americans: the Megrahi decision was entirely down to the Scotch, and the Dutch courage (gag ruthlessly stolen from elsewhere) #
• Alternative to grad tax: send fliers to all 6th forms saying "student loan isn't debt, as you don't have to pay it back unless you're rich" #
• Teenage kicks right through the knight: http://bit.ly/9lulcm #obvious #shouldabeenpeel #
• Fuck, apparently Peter Andre is British (UK born and passport, just grew up in Aus). Yet another thing we can't shift the blame for… #
• Good piece; can be shortened to "no, of course not, duh" RT @Heresy_Corner Was it wrong to release Megrahi? http://bit.ly/cy59W3 #
• Cillit Bang and French's buy Durex: http://bit.ly/9scCbg (via @annieauerbach @DrPetra, but the French's connection has been neglected) #
• Thank fuck for that: http://bit.ly/bNYTYG #reallystupidideas #
• You just haven't earned it yet, baby #weddingdisco #
• I Write Sins Not Tragedies #weddingdisco http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc #
• I've mentioned Nurofen twice on Twitter in the last 30 mins, despite not having a headache. Well, 3x now. Take that, text analysis bots! #
• I keep reading refs to this http://yhoo.it/a4qill as "cancelled lesbian pr0n" #shouldprobablyseekhelp @greygirlbeast @adamfishpoet #
• "[relative I've never met] is on vaginal speculum countdown" – yes, thank you Mr Zuckerberg for bringing that to my life. #fb #fml #
• Depressing thing: although this is awful and wrong – http://bit.ly/c9n9rV the UK does it already. #yestryingtobecomecitizenofsomewherebetter #
• Australians: on citizenship revocation, any idea re "it would be contrary to the public interest for you to remain an Australian citizen"? #
• Not personal deportation concerns, just wondering whether it's a stupid catch-all as in the UK, or whether people's rights are protected… #
• Been ignoring this one all day because *triggers*, but surely nobody who isn't mad can support the court here? http://tinyurl.com/3xay2zg #
• I like @CheerfulSheep. At this point, @chrissiem may make jokes about my heritage. That's OK, I've got a new white sweater for her to wear. #
• Interesting: unless specific politicians or hashtags are mentioned, there's no way to tell between #ukpolitics and #auspolitics in my feed #
• #deficit #infrastructure #cuts #railfail #refugees "there's no such thing as an 'unelected PM' you ignorant tit" "the Coalition are wankers" #
• You can see why I struggle, right? #alsothenextPMwillbebornintheUKwhoevertheyare #
• To the tune of Laid by James, please -> RT @emessen220: The club is alive with the sound of alcohol induced vomiting and bar fights. #
• OMFG geeklives converge. Everything today features geeklife convergence. #
• Haha, Mother Ted win: http://twitpic.com/4nsh1 (via @cheerfulsheep) #
• Peter Hartcher has missed the third element in population growth: deaths. Logically, JG must be planning to kill us all http://bit.ly/alDzdl #
• Either you believe in open borders, or you're a racist dickhead #harshfacts #
• Drinking pale ale. Almost wish it was off so I could tweet #palealefale #
• Amanda Fucking Palmer for the win (musically speaking): http://music.amandapalmer.net #
• On a Western Line city train. Nothing boganic has occurred so far. Sleeping Indian man behind me remains unbeaten. What gives, people? #
• RT @ArmyofDave: RT @davegentle: @ArmyofDave how much do cockneys pay for shampoo? pantenne #
• Still not in fucking Parramatta #stillnotinfuckingparramatta #
• Best "man goes to a Victorian brothel" sketch ever, from @realdmitchell: http://bit.ly/aopDct #
• In Melbourne with @chrissiem. Woo! Well, strictly speaking in a bus surrounded by fields somewhere not especially near Geelong. Yay Jetstar! #
• RT @missellabell: I absolutely just saw one black sheep on its own in a field of white ones. THE OUTCAST. #
• Rainfuckw #replacebowithfuck #
• Have utterly failed to see @stephenfry, despite ticket offers for Syd & Mel – sadly we're in the opposite cities from him at all times. :( #
• RT @5ChinCrack: This winter, I'm going snowfuckarding #replaceBowithfuck #
• Google image search (safe mode) for 'surprise buttsecks'. Is teh funny. #
• RT @thetearooms: Saying 'duff' for 'dough' and 'row' for 'rough.' Making Saturday exciting. #

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• These guys reckon Australia is top per capita at CO2 emissions: http://bit.ly/6YSl0V @ozcjr #
• And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom… RT @JuliaGillard We [are] shaping a better future, going forward not back. #
• Great piece on the illiberal stupidity of banning the veil: http://nyti.ms/b62QYG (via @sunnysingh_sw6) #
• Haha, Fresher's Week-tastic: http://bit.ly/cDsZj9 – yay representative democracy. #
• Starbucks is moving into wine cafes, French-style: http://bit.ly/9KXb36 – interesting, but I wonder if American puritanism will tolerate it? #
• Alan Johnson in "even more of a prick than Theresa May" shock: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/10592123.stm #
• In "googling at work with the filter off" news, I have just discovered that Teresa May != Theresa May. #
• Re Jackie O pregnancy, getting knocked up at the age of 81 when you've been dead for 16 years is something of a medical first @fictillius #
• "I'm not motivated by the money" says emerging recording artist Coco Sumner: http://bit.ly/9xXBNe #perhapstheycouldhavepickedabetterexample #
• If all Tory cuts involved axeing pointless quangos like the FSA, then I'd be 100% in favour: http://gu.com/p/2tahv/ip #
• Convo from FB: "What're the chances of anyone being at work in Spain today? Fuck all I'd have thought…" "So it's a normal Monday then?" #
• It seems odd that people are citing the BSE scandal as a reason not to axe the Food Standards Agency. #
• After all, the most notable thing about the BSE scandal is that *we didn't all die, because it all turned out to be nonsense*… #
• …not that this stops the daft buggers in the Australian Red Cross from *still* banning Brits from giving blood, though. #
• "If the Daily Mail's against it, I'm for it" remains a good rule of thumb: http://bit.ly/9fo1w1 #
• Sensible comment on CiF on the FSA's abolition: http://bit.ly/aFsxQ2 #
• NEWSFLASH: if you're fat it's because you're greedy and/or lazy: the only thing that causes obesity is consuming more calories than you use. #
• You may have a medical condition that makes you greedy (e.g. Prader-Willi) and/or lazy (e.g. depression), but that's a second-order point. #
• So far, Iran seems to be doing better than Texas as "not executing probably innocent people following outrageously unfair show trials". #
• Therefore, we should invade Texas and install a liberal regime #canwe #pleasecanwe #
• Re Polanski: the people to blame are the US officials who failed to file the paperwork, not the Swiss judges who followed the law. #
• I know that under the UK's agreement with the US, paperwork's unnecessary, but the Swiss have higher standards… #
• Loving the Barefoot Bandit. The world needs more hilarious, exciting, *fun* criminality… #
• CROWDSOURCE: bag of sweets & ride in my car to whoever finds someone saying McKinnon verdict is EVIL while also slating Polanski verdict… #
• EPIC FAIL: RT @j_freedland I stand corrected on my observation re non-singing of national anthem by Spain team: no words to it since 1978. #
• This is a great post, with a great title: http://bit.ly/d7rX6p #evilplanninglaws #evilericpickles #
• This is dead dead good: http://icio.us/yj2hlj #ww2 #satire, reminiscent of http://bit.ly/GkrEq #
• I recognise this isn't really news, but Christ, Janet Street-Porter is an idiot. It's nice to be 17,000km from her: http://bit.ly/cDcE1z #
• If I was accused of a serious crime I hadn't done, and was instead offered a plea bargain that kept me out of jail, I'd probably take it. #
• And if the judge then said "actually, sod the plea bargain, I'm going to send you to jail after all", I'd feel justifiably pissed off. #
• I'm not, incidentally, defending Polanski-the-man, and I have nothing but contempt for people who think his art exempts him from punishment. #
• (I also have nothing but contempt for people who think his personal vices devalue his art, of course…) #
• However, I don't think protection of law should apply any less to people accused of sex offences than to people accused of other offences. #
• Finally on Polanski, it also riles me that testimony that was never tested by the court is unquestioningly accepted as FACT. No, it ain't. #
• NOTE TO IDIOTS: in neither England nor California is "statutory rape" a concept. Unless you shag a stone icon of Mrs Thatcher, which [etc] #
• US in 'seriously pathetic' shock & awe: http://www.tumblr.com/xrkdc8igt (via @johnhalton) – yes, of course we underage-drank, but THE CHILDRENS!!! #
• Worst understanding of sexual offences law EVAH -> RT @coxar @johnb78 sex with a minor is by definition non-consensual. Do you disagree? #
• Good rule to remember: "The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true" #
• Latest tweet from @BPGlobalPR (lame satire) rather gives the lie to "BP anger isn't just Americans being racist fucktards", doesn't it? #
• Wow, I'm following @SarahPalinUSA. I must have been bloody drunk when I clicked that one… #
• Incidentally, the fact that Twitter allows followees to DM followers without the ability to reply to the DM is an EPIC FAIL. #
• If the French senate approves the ban on the burqa, anyone up for a mass burqa-wearing holiday to Paris? (via @beatniksalad) #
• I did not know that residents of Phoenix, AZ, were referred to as Phoenicians. That's really rather cool. http://bit.ly/9gvoZ5 #
• Apologies @bpglobalpr. I still think they're wrong about Megrahi, but not that they're mindless Brit-bashers. #
• If you don't think Lockerbie was Iran's (evil) revenge for the US (evilly) murdering a plane of Iranian civilians, you're a silly person. #
• Anyone who still has any belief in Megrahi's guilt should read this: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n18/gareth-peirce/the-framing-of-al-megrahi #
• Fuck Tony Blair. Fuck him to death: http://ht.ly/2b810 (via @thabet1979) #
• Ok, so the new UK government is just as petty and evil as the last one: http://bit.ly/aKiZpN – I'm retracting @chickyog's point-win… #
• Best money-saving political suggestion EVAH: http://bit.ly/adNbK4 #crowdsourcingpolicyisareallystupididea #whodvethunkit #
• In other news, don't copy and paste from Wiki, you cretins: http://bit.ly/bNeGhB (via @naomimc) #
• Via Jamie, who's sadly only on web 1.0, this is aces: http://www.ctbto.org/specials/1945-1998-by-isao-hashimoto/ #
• DAMN YOU, @fictillius!!! #
• This is on the money, but terribly subbed. Almost like cost pressures compromised quality: http://bit.ly/9fHUp4 #yesIusedtoworkforMikeDanson #
• Obvious, but needs saying: if you sympathise *at all in any way* with Raoul Moat, you are a worthless scumbag. #
• I'm a fan of the word "c(ons)u(lta)nt". #
• Who does more harm, woo-merchants or MI6? Not convinced the answer is necessarily the latter… @chickyog @dnotice #
• The excellent @realdmitchell is right, of course: http://bit.ly/9ueufJ #pubs #
• Either @sun has decided to destroy the world in fiery inferno form, or it's getting its temperature measures rather wrong at the moment… #
• Wow, dressing as a sparkly-white version of Mrs T and quoting Kang and Kodos is, apparently, the way to win elections #ausvotes #twirling #
• Inspiration for the PM's outfit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840B27zYfOk #ausvotes #
• One Last Knob Song #changelovetoknobsongs #
• I haz messed up. Not entirely sure how I haz messed up, but pretty certain that I haz messed up. #

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• Great Jim Henley piece on 'high road' vs 'low road' policies (eg diplomacy vs war, or investigation vs torture): http://bit.ly/cokCqu #
• Weird to watch people commenting on the Megrahi case as if he were the Lockerbie bomber. While, as a Libyan intelligence officer, he's… #
• …doubtless a nasty piece of work, his (and, indeed, Libya's) lack of involvement in Lockerbie are both now almost certain. #
• *Please* can we start a campaign to encourage the Daily Mail to go paywall-only? (concept via @gimpyblog…) #
• Australia-press-wise, I'd be delighted if the News titles went paywall and the Fairfax ones stayed free. a) vile b) mediocre with good bits #
• .@marshallw where's my fucking hoverboard? #
• Fuck the WHAT? RT @sunny_hundal: The government is increasing the threshold required to dissolve Parliament from 55% to 2/3rds of all MPs #
• Of course they're all straight; straight as a line. Joe Jackson FTW, Youtube him #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/141153 #
• It's depressing that the UK'll have a referendum on 'completely uncontroversial ways of not being mad' that may still fail. #alternativevote #
• Agree; worth preserving RT @sunny_hundal If Labour oppose AV now they'll just end up splitting their own base and looking very unprincipled. #
• Reminded of this by a FB friend: Australia's finest son – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN002ejgC6I #
• For the Coalition. LD supporters count as the $50: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcdtVD8X1-A #
• Thanks to @mudlarklives for reminding me of Mr Lehrer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs is still the best piece of Cold War media ever #
• Me-from-1995 likes the fact that in the future, I get to recommend satirical videos to @martincarr. That almost makes up for hoverboards. #
• FIFA = morons. What possible commercial benefit do they gain from banning goal clips (ie 'more eyeballs for their sponsors') from YouTube? #
• Struggling to work out whether this chocolate ad is awesome or a bit racially dodgy: http://mumbrella.com.au/hello-chocolate-lovers-29373 #
• Today, like most Coalition days, is one of those days when I'm glad I live in Australia. Sorry, UK, you fucked up. #
• Confused by @AdamBienkov here. The fact that you don't find nonce jokes funny doesn't stop them from being jokes: http://bit.ly/bQ4D71 #
• Remembering 7/7 – very good Grauniad editorial: http://bit.ly/dbkxFd #
• Wow, the "world's most complete and utter miserable dickhead" award has a strong new nominee: http://bit.ly/bJK6iS (via @dnotice) #
• The Economist's former Charlemagne, now Bagehot, off to an excellent start on the BBC: http://bit.ly/9FMyAc #
• Enjoying my brief status as minor Twitter celebrity. Not enjoying NSW's rugby form… #
• Damn, this is good – an old dsquared post, grabbed from the memory archives by @stabprin: http://bit.ly/9WAKeD #
• #ebz is less fun since I completed it, but that still won't stop me playing, dammit… http://fallenlondon.com/c/143763 #
• Things I like about Australia, #1: @netbank aren't incompetent thieving bastards, unlike all UK banks. #
• Things I like about Australia, #2: ordering my morning coffee with four adjectives. #
• Random unexpected things I like about Australia, #1: @netbank aren't incompetent thieving bastards, unlike all UK banks. #
• Random unexpected things I like about Australia, #2: ordering my morning coffee with four adjectives. #
• Another US journalist sacked for not cravenly supporting Israel: http://yhoo.it/9Csr4f #freespeech #wossatthen? #
• He might've turned out less of a dick, though -> RT @ebertchicago Rush Limbaugh wouldn't be where he is today if he hadn't been born white. #
• Stock image FAIL: http://bit.ly/ck4HRe (wrong builder, wrong operator, wrong state, built 20 years apart, anything else wrong…?) #
• Outrageous homophobic discrimination in Surry Hills ;-) – http://twitpic.com/23dlm9 #
• Friday, woo. Four hours impending of boring and frustrating cut and paste, boo. #
• Wow, Everton's away kit is impressive. #
• One person here has a vuvuleza. Every time he blows it, 1000 fans boo him… #

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• Martin Amis & Shed #swapwordinfilmwithshed #swapwordinfilmwithmartinamis #
• The Unbearable Shed of Martin Amis #swapwordinfilmwithshed #swapwordinfilmwithmartinamis #
• RT @anattendantlord Bring Me The Shed of Martin Amis #swapwordinfilmwithshed #swapwordinfilmwithmartinamis #
• "Tottenham Hotspurtable"? – http://bit.ly/9Ws52e – #typosthatsoundfilthy #
• "equivalent of defecating on the steps of the Vatican" – no, defecating on steps of Vatican would be a *good thing*: http://bit.ly/a9DLJK #
• Ooops, I did just kill SPSS #toomanydatas #
• Shorter Oborne: 'buy tinned food, shotguns; move to mountains. PS I AM NOT MAD": http://diigo.com/0bk0y (via @mrpower) #
• The ironically named James Cleverly: http://bit.ly/bcFIDN #transportfail #
• Eep, I've finished #ebz – they'd better add some new content soon… http://fallenlondon.com/c/133374 #
• $8.99 is GBP5.20. That's 97p a bottle… http://twitpic.com/20ppgd #
• Martin Amis #rappersbetterthansouljaboy #
• Martin Amis, Thongs & Perfect Snogging #swapawordinafilmformartinamis #eww #
• This fits pretty well with my existing stereotypes about neighbours who make noise complaints: http://bit.ly/bNMesi #
• Throw Martin Amis From The Train #swapawordinafilmforMartinAmis #yesIknowIneedtostopnow #
• Anyone know how to find out who first used a particular hashtag & when? #
• 100 elderly Japanese men in sailor suits #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
• A teenage marching band from Mississippi #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
• A busload of Chinese people in bright green anoraks #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
• A gridlock of confused out-of-towner coach drivers, carrying signs in various non-Latin-script languages #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
• Several elderly moustachioed clipboard-wielding Sydneysiders, trying to bring order to the chaos #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
• Lady on Castlereagh St says she was sent by Jehovah to talk to the sinners. #
• I know He works in mysterious ways, but I'd've considered sending someone soberer and more continent. Nice Jewish boy maybe? #
• Can't see how someone can say socialism's a worthless ideology that's never done any good, and yet still claim to be centre-left @jachartuk #
• Great piece from Peter Singer on cheating in football: http://bit.ly/c3oQEw – why were Neuer's actions any different from a drug cheat's? #
• SPSS really is made of FAIL. More crashes than Air France… #
• The New Yorker's profile of David Mitchell was briefly perplexing: http://bit.ly/bz7qOZ #
• Blimey, I'm in the Grauniad: http://bit.ly/abysIH – eggs and euromyths, obviously… #
• If the awful song from the AAMI advert doesn't leave my brain shortly, I may be forced to remove it through the means of amateur surgery… #
• I don't get the point of free public wifi in urban areas given 3G, but Railcorp apparently disagrees: http://bit.ly/9XyQgA (via @squeakaz) #
• Public wifi was a fudge by USA-ans to get round their woeful 3G rollout. It's of no use in countries with functional 3G (ie anywhere else) #
• AU's 25 daftest ad complaints: http://bit.ly/9MlfTH – I've long believed that ppl who complain to ASB/ASA shld automatically be certified… #
• Copyright theft doesn't exist: the word is 'infringement'. Theft requires intention to deprive; copying doesn't deprive anyone of anything. #
• After a brief absence, #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/136775 #
• "You can tell by the way I use my walk…", etc, only gender-reversed: http://dlvr.it/2CwWH (via @bengoldacre) #
• Shorter Alan Kohler: "Westminster system? Wossat? Also, the govt should be banned from doing things I don't like": http://bit.ly/bzh9OV #
• Haha, this is made entirely of truth: http://bit.ly/aId4Vy <- The Freelancer Lunch Game. #
• Sheer genius – Diageo pays off its pension fund deficit in whisky: http://bit.ly/djHTDo – someone tell the government! #
• RT @PlugInShowbiz: Dear Confused Teen Girls: someone who sparkles and won't have sex with you isn't a vampire; it's a gay guy. #
• #ebz off to Brisbane, but first… http://fallenlondon.com/c/138598 #
• The 400 bus takes a remarkably long time to not go very far. It is, however, free, which makes it better than cab/train to airport… #
• Perplexed Ryanair's in the news again with the same bullshit, illegal nonsense it PR'ed last year. Lazy journalists are lazy. #
• As usual, Nick Cohen talks ignorant crap: http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=columnists&issue=1265 #

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The rule of thumb is that on any blog where posts regularly attract more than about 50 comments, none of said comments will be worth reading due to the preponderance of idiot trolls, clueless newbies, and the generally hard-of-thinking.

At Crooked Timber, this is not the case. Viz:

Newbie CT commenter:

I wouldn’t much care to live in a world where you can’t eat animal (including marine) flesh

Regular CT commenter:

Shocking. The men of the naval infantry may be rough, tough, sometimes even brutal; but it goes too far to class them amongst the animals. Unless you mean to place all humans in that category, of course, which would be biologically correct. In that case, though, your typical marine is a poor choice for the table. Lots of meat there, yes, but it will be tough and stringy; made palatable, if at all, only through long slow braising.

Update – we have a new winner:

A system where the England coach gets to release three lions per game would increase the current entertainment value of England games, if not their match-win chances. (As players from other lands would be taught, you don’t need to faster than the lion, you only need to be faster than Terry, Heskey, etc…)