Category Archives: Gimpy internet nonsense

What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-10-04

  • Much left-web sillyness re Polanski. If you think 'rejected prosecution accusation' = 'fact it's reasonable to assert', go read the Mail… #
  • Joy in heaven over 1 sinner who repents? RT @antonvowl Sun Hillsborough disgrace was before it backed Labour. They should've complained then #
  • It's amusing, for some values thereof, to know that most lib-bloggers would happily have committed Oscar Wilde to jail… #
  • (it being unequivocally established that Mr W was a fan of teenage boys. Yes, they *might* have all been 16+) #
  • Enough of that. I'm sure the next moral panic'll be some Daily Wail nonsense we can all agree on. #
  • meanwhile, "a commission has determined Georgia started last year's war". I await their findings on bears, Popes. #
  • Why is "estate agents in Dungeness focus on nature park not power station" a headline story on BBC World Service news? #bears #Pope #
  • "committed suicide" = "bad person"; "took own life" = good-ish person #tritedocumentaryconventions #
  • Quite up for a beer with @mrpower next time he's Darn Sarf. Wanna hear his I Hated Them Then Too take on more 70s icons, in over 140 chars #
  • Is it the NME Awards tonight? – RT @realnickgriffin sitting down to watch the MOWOs #
  • Didn't my tweet last PM "He's a filthy old man who had sex with a young girl, shouldn't have, and should be punished for it" make it clear? #
  • Time to make "Asian Babes Hotline" ad! RT @kingblues: BNP freephone number 0800 0086191, every call will cost them (via @Ladymcscamp) #
  • A quiet night in Hyderabad. Like every night in Hyderabad, in fact. #
  • Celebrating Gandhi's birthday with a beer and some meat. #culturalinsensitivity #
  • Right. Work done, B3TA read, bedtime it is. Terrifying trendy Mumbaikaar clubbing tomorrow, apparently. #
  • Met some interesting vendors of posh-looking custom solar panels. Ideal for the Cameroonite in your life… #
  • Don't let the door hit you on your way out, dear: http://bit.ly/6KqWP #
  • Against my better judgement, being roped into Facebook-based farm games. #thingstodoonarainyIndianSunday #
  • Dear God, this is awful even by their standards: http://bit.ly/ei2ZX (via, like, everyone) #
  • Ooh yeah: http://bit.ly/1tkgJl – #newsportsfor2010 #
  • I save them for women's beach volleyball, myself: RT @sarabedford Watching X Factor to find out the finalists. Got the tissues ready! #
  • Actually quite glad to be in a developing-world airport and not in front of telly tonight #xfactor #
  • …especially as said airport has become appreciably more developed in the last 6 months. 30 mins entrance-to-lounge good by any standard #
  • No upgrade tho. Again. Next regular-long-haul-flights job, J-class goes in the contract… #
  • Mumbai Sapphire and tonic truly is drink of gods. didn't have anything like enough gin this summer #
  • "I Drove All Night": sweet love song when by Cindi Lauper, creepy rapist song by Roy Orbison, crime against humanity by Celine Dion. #
  • And people suggest the BBC is *left*-biased? http://bit.ly/4ej88x – repetition as fact of Cameron's lies #
  • Things that I am in: uncomfortable cramped chair surrounded by strangers. Things that I'm not in: aeroplane. #
  • Places that aeroplane is not in: here. Places that aeroplane is in: the air, having previously landed in the wrong bloody city #
  • Things that I am not: pleased. #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-09-27

  • This is true, but not how he suggests RT @tygerland You think you can write, then you read AA Gill and you consider alternative careers #
  • I like this: http://bit.ly/4ydwzI – good to be reminded that GB is popular abroad, despite ignorant witch-hunting domestically #
  • "You should update Adobe Flash Player right now" – no, I'll update it whenever I so choose. It should be illegal for software to hector you #
  • Almost impressed by VC of Buckingham University: it's a rare skill to actually live in 2009 academia whilst believing you're in Lucky Jim #
  • Last chaise longue "nervous": http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8273396.stm #
  • Fantastic lunch burrito. Why aren't http://www.chilango.co.uk an enormous Londonwide chain already? #
  • Wine and pork: the best hangover cure in the world, ever. #
  • Feel ignorant. Have just discovered "Like Someone In Love" is jazz classic, not Bjork original #
  • What's Bjork up to these days, anyway? Quirky songs need recorded and photographers hit. #
  • Yes, indeed – RT @Nosemonkey The Swiss are dicks: http://bit.ly/78I28 #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-09-20

  • Just caught up on the Adebayor stuff. As is often the case, football confuses me. #
  • Stamping on Persie's face v bad, victory dance in front of Gooner fans hilarious – but he seems to be getting most stick for the latter #
  • Bloody rain. Actually, bloody rain would be far better than the watery rain that's currently about #
  • Keys. They're shit. See also: flatmates being on holiday is shit; supposedly cheap London hotels are shit #
  • Reunited with keys. O frabjous day. #
  • I endorse this sentiment: RT @quantick My hangover is so bad I just shouted at it. #
  • The posh deli at St Pancras wants gbp3 for a bottle of Sam Smiths IPA. It's less than that in the pub, ffs… #
  • ?!?!?!?: http://twitpic.com/i8ayg (via @catdonn) #
  • Another day, another moronic 'scientist' trying to destroy childhood: http://bit.ly/T2r69 #
  • Disagree with @libcon on B Scotland http://bit.ly/DxHSq – nowt wrong with employing illegals, but ministers shld follow their own silly laws #
  • The pub opposite Archway station has a big sign up advertising that it cashes cheques for commission. Is it me, or is that kinda sad? #
  • A superb piece of historical context from the Economist re Islamophobic scaremongering – http://tinyurl.com/lhajft #
  • Earliest Sat night EVAH. Am officially lame. Nice to be in own bed for once tho. #
  • RT @drsamueljohnson Mister BAIRD'S Idiot-Lantern makes a Buffoon of every Man, esp. when enact'd by fellow Scotchman COLTRANE #
  • The only alternative to Frog a la Peche is even worse: Peche a la Frog #
  • If anyone isn't watching @james_blue_cat livetweet the midsomer murders in french, they should be #
  • Peep Show 6.1 quite surprisingly good. 4OD player really quite dreadful. Why do people who aren't the BBC have to make decent telly? #
  • (and yes, I know that Peep Show is pretty much the sole .uk example of people who aren't the BBC making decent telly) #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-09-13

  • Made 2359 Stansted Express off 2330 Ryanair arrival. Yay speed-walking and ruthlessness #
  • In the town where I was born, just long enough for the train to stop and start again. Maybe one day I'll get out & see what it's like #
  • just moved to new office. sadly a) is building site b) nearby train station is building site c) nearby Tube station is building site & shut. #
  • However, when works are finished in 2011 all will be wonderful #
  • am juvenilely amused by the overlap of responses between @cathelliott and @antonvowl #
  • Doctors 'can bugger off': http://tinyurl.com/n45qkp #
  • Dammit, I thought I'd escaped from Orange: http://tinyurl.com/m3vm7z #
  • "Army makes safe 600lb border bomb" http://bit.ly/Xnsmy – I'm not sure the Army should really be making bombs, but I'm glad they're safe #
  • "Boyle edges closer to porno" – having read the headline, I was very relieved by the content: http://bit.ly/L4h2Z #
  • Apple are fantastic, but Safari is actually the worst browser I've ever used. It makes IE look Excellent. C'mon Google, Mac Chrome NOW. #
  • Fuck. Need to be in Bristol in 1h20m. Still in bed. Sceptical this will work. #
  • On train back from Bristol having visited 2 old friends and a v new one. A good day. #
  • Presumptious of me to call someone not yet capable of sitting up 'friend'; she may decide to hate me once able to formulate opinions… #
  • There is, quite literally, nothing better than the second (metaphorical) side of Abbey Road. If you think there is, you're mistaken. #
  • Finished The Corner. War on Some Drugs v depressing. Then read daft 'evil bankers' piece from R. Nader. Ignorance of lefties v depressing. #
  • Authoritarian nonsense, driven by the Nazi tendencies of the lower-middle-classes, is why we're screwed. The bankers are an irrelevance. #
  • See: grog. Legal, enjoyed by almost everyone, Paul Walsh doesn't shoot anyone, all fine. Admittedly, tis also in the puritan twunts' sights #
  • Meanwhile the bankers have given us a decade of cheap entertainment, followed by one year of rubbishness, all at the expense of the Chinese #
  • Compared to the puritans, they're Solomon and Santa Claus rolled into one #
  • Annoyed I'm following @quincytweets already, a Twitter poem (twoem?) would be qualitative. #
  • I was hoping #DavidCookRocks was some kind of crack fiend anthem, but apparently it's just appreciative of a lame Pop Idol singer #
  • Headphone review tweets from @tygerland reminding me why I stopped reading What Hi-Fi… #
  • …and yes, Twitter is a radically stupid medium for trying to express complex ideas. Back to my book & whisky… #
  • Do physicists call higher dimensions "branes" out of deference to N Molesworth? String theory def makes my brane hurt. #
  • Why is Ian Rankin the UK's most successful crime author, and Christopher Brookmyre, erm, not? Edinburgh more glam than Glasgie, is it…? #
  • "Scotland is beautiful. It's also cold, cruel and unforgiving if you don't treat it with respect" – this is why I like Scots birds^H^Hwomen #
  • Depressed by the tweets of people who've achieved things today. I've reheated some pasta and eaten a passionfruit. #
  • I suppose my liver has probably been working fairly hard. Well done it. #
  • I might have a kebab later, depending on whether I can face leaving the house. In the meantime I'm watching downloaded eps of Fist of Fun #
  • When I saw Fist of Fun 14 years ago, I assumed that at 30 I'd be a famous and successful comedian and writer like @richardherring #
  • Although looking on the bright side, I'm about as likely to get my own TV show as he is… #
  • Nice kebab or horrible pizza? Latter involves not leaving house or spending money. But is horrible. #
  • If only I had a servant I could despatch to the kebab establishment. And borrow money from. #
  • I made it to the kebab shop. I had a large kofte. It was excellent. Then I watched some Anthony Bourdain. #
  • Achievements for day: left house, put on dishwasher, cut nails. Hooray for six billion years of evolution. #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-09-06

  • RT @DrSamuelJohnson The Tory sees the BBC as a Nest of Whigs, the Whig sees it as a Nest of Tories, when 'tis a Nest of FOPS #
  • Conjecture: if someone's been dead over 5 years, then IT'S ANCIENT HISTORY JUST FUCKING LET IT GO. See: Lockerbie, Chappaquiddick, etc. #
  • Half a day more work. Then Ryanair *shiver*. Then port, sun & wedding. Yay Oporto. #
  • Not mine, obviously. LADIES OF TWITTER, I'M STILL AVAILABLE. #
  • BUT NOT DESPERATE. #
  • Genius ad. Absolute quality, and makes a good point: http://bit.ly/2cfM3l – unsurprisingly, idiots are offended #
  • Much as I dislike Chelsea, the FIFA ruling is utterly bloody ridiculous #
  • Litigious billionaire terror-supporter dead. Hurrah! http://tinyurl.com/mrc85h #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-08-30

  • Chris Grayling is halfwit http://bit.ly/RQQwb #Britainisntbrokenyouridiculousjokers #
  • Blimey, the right-whingers are going mental at Kennedy's death. I reckon "40 years political service" outweighs "once crashed a car" #
  • The phrase "I'm not being funny" is almost invariably correct. #
  • Early night w00t #
  • Complete this sentence: "Fraser Nelson is the new …." #
  • Anton Vowl & The Femmes are one of my favourite bands too – RT @Jennymac22 #ff – Just follow everyone I follow. Esp @antonvowl and the fems #
  • #ff @johnb78 #rampantegotism #
  • RT @DrSamuelJohnson #Carnival comes to Notting-Hill. I shall parade dress'd as Emperors Frederick of PRUSSIA & Haile SELLASIE. #
  • Looking to increase the "might be"'s to "might have been"'s ratio in my life. "Might be"'s, make yourselves known. Many req'd. #
  • Crook. Dirty old man. Both proveable. What else can you say to *actually damage* the man's reputation? http://tinyurl.com/ndya5n #
  • This could work: RT @antonvowl My plan to save the newspaper industry http://bit.ly/VU0MB #
  • Just received Mattressman *monthly* newsletter. Mattressman make good mattresses – currently reclining on one – but surely 3 yrs more apt? #
  • National Express ads 4 horrid bus trips on Spotify. Just cos ur not allowed to run trains nemore doesn't mean you have 2 spoil it 4 everyone #
  • Is it too early to point out that HAHA, YOU DAFT THICK DADROCK-LIKING-TWASSOCKS, BLUR FUCKING WON? Just wondering… #
  • Excellent LC piece: http://tinyurl.com/nvb6co – conservatives hate the BBC because it reflects the fact they lost the argument long ago #
  • "I'm robbing your country blind, send me home" – OK Amanda, would love to http://tinyurl.com/knog2m #
  • Breakfast of black pudding, mushrooms, half a dozen oysters and a pint of Guinness #livingthedream #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2009-08-23

  • The Awl is brilliant (www.theawl.com) – and no, I'm not getting paid to say that #
  • The staff of my local Pret have all gone on a jolly to New York, and been replaced by equally enthusiastic, but less ept, stand-ins. #
  • CO2 emissions aside, I strongly approve of big co's sending baristas and sandwichmakers on jollies, not just salesmen & directors #
  • Another one for the "and this is in the public interest because…?" column: http://tinyurl.com/mdkpxj #
  • Just contracted a rare brain disease from excess cannibalism. Can cross that off my kuru list #
  • Running Kittenify on Twitter produces cute results, although does have the side-effect of suggesting all your acquaintances are cats #
  • New hobby: Amazon idiotspotting. Go to excellent books, records & films and read the 1* reviews, eg http://bit.ly/9nZul http://bit.ly/2vV43H #
  • Best kids' toy EVAH: http://www.cool4cats.biz/page16.htm #
  • Just overheard @ pub in N1 "they don't go to work, do they? Cos they're married to a black man" #surrealracists #
  • David Mitchell is excellent, Robert Webb is an irritating tosser. Not a great revelation, but nice to see confirmation: http://bit.ly/Csq0B #
  • Quite a good summary of right-wing-ness: "Stop reminding us of the truth we don't like it" – in comments here http://bit.ly/WyzT3 #
  • Hadn't realised that Scotland releases all prisoners with <3 months to live by default. How very civilised, shame we never adopted it #

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