Banditry: The idle musings of John B

So, if I log into Gmail, Twitter, eBay, or my own blog on a computer, and opt to have my user information saved, then obviously I’ll want to log in using that information whenever I use those sites, for as long as I use the site and the computer is my computer.

If it stops being my computer at any point, even if I don’t reformat the hard disk, I’ll obviously delete all browser personal information.

So why on earth do Twitter and Gmail set their cookies to expire after a fortnight, and eBay in 24 hours? What possible use could there be in not just setting them to last forever?

It’s not a huge thing, obviously, as my browser still stores the passwords – but even causing me very, very mild annoyance seems bizarre when there is no benefit at all to me or the supplier from the mild annoyance caused…

• #ebz The Stolen River that flows into the Unterzee – the one they used to call the Thames – passes thr… http://fallenlondon.com/c/98148 #
• I wonder how many of the people fulminating about Laws are aware that if he'd come out and claimed for sharing with partner, he'd've been… #
• …entitled to *more* money than he actually got. In other words, if you think the incident involves nicking taxpayer money, you're a tool. #
• Good piece from @caronmlindsay on David Laws' resignation: http://ht.ly/1RXwu #
• Meanwhile, Danny Alexander is getting shit for not only not doing anything morally wrong, but not even breaking any rules…! #
• In Hell Freezing Over news, Iain Dale is right about something http://bit.ly/90Ht6N (via @mattwardman) #
• Today's Word Of The Day is 'knoblolly': http://www.google.com.au/search?q=knoblolly (via @echobazaar) #
• This piece from @flying_rodent is scarygood: http://tinyurl.com/33ntmrd #
• The #mining #supertax advert is annoying. If Rio Tinto and BHP's shares are hit because $ paid to govt, the losers will be in London not AU #
• (for non-AU readers: the govt wants to impose mining royalties, which would be a Good Thing; mining MNCs pulling out all the PR stops…) #
• Via @daveraybould this is interesting, if not necessarily accurate – the IDF's version of the #freedomflotilla raids: http://alturl.com/6tyn #
• SABMiller in "desperate World Cup cash-in press release" shock: http://bit.ly/ayPjlZ #theyvebeenplanningitfor6yearsFFS #
• It'd be annoying to be @Martin_Carr. When I go out with former workmates I'm still friends with, nobody says "PWC REUNION ON THE CARDS?" #
• Land-of-the-free-tastic fact of the day: it's illegal for an American to boycott Israel http://bit.ly/bXhGYq (via @sunny_hundal) #
• We've now got @flying_rodent's excellent Israel's Biggest Enemy Is Itself piece republished on LibCon: http://bit.ly/coEqmA #
• Fact of the day: the #freedomflotilla was originally going to be called the French Flotilla, but Americans objected. #
• WW3 FTW! RT @LeonJaeger Turkey says more ships will be sent to Gaza, escorted by its Navy: http://bit.ly/92mpYm #flotilla #
• Aaagh, I knew I shouldn't've read Mad Mel's take on #flotilla before bed. THE STUPID, IT BURNS… http://bit.ly/aRWfwL (via @CathElliott) #
• Excellent piece on the parallels between Israel and North Korea: http://bit.ly/b5QKvQ #flotilla #
• 9 News cameraman provokes "angry Muslim" footage by racially abusing member of the public: http://bit.ly/cBYOuJ #mediafail via @sunny_hundal #
• Israel/North Korea update: rightblogger Mr Eugenides's defence of Israel is "Ah, but NK is worse". Srsly: http://bit.ly/bxCK8Z #flotilla #
• I'm being followed by @LunaParkSydney. I find the concept of being followed by a funfair a bit disturbing. #
• Aagh, #ebz have erased 2 days' progress due to a server disaster. SAME AGAIN! http://fallenlondon.com/c/96236 #
• Ooops – Chinese World Cup promotional campaign is not made of win: http://bit.ly/9gQHiM #
• Gonna be about 45 mins late to meet @chrissiem. Oops. And it's entirely my fault, *and* I know she doesn't have a working phone. Am bad man. #
• Salon.com having a mobile edition is good. But redirecting mobile users who click regular article links to the mobile homepage is STUPID. #
• Forgiven for lateness. Hurrah! Now home and #ebz-ing, of course. http://fallenlondon.com/c/97628 #
• Dear Nokia: if I've got someone's mobile and home numbers stored in my phone, *which one do you bloody think* I want to send an SMS to? #
• Number of mass gun rampages under Thatcher, Major & Cameron: 1 each. Number under Blair & Brown: 0 #justsaying #
• I wonder if all the people blaming BP for the Gulf spill are going to sell their cars and ride bikes, or if they're just hypocrites? #
• (I'm assuming here the spill is an inherent risk of deep-sea extraction rather than illegal behaviour by BP based on available evidence) #
• If you oppose deep-sea extraction, that's just fine – as long as you're clear that the oil *will* run out rather soon without it. #
• Damn, the bloke drinking an espresso on the Citi (AUS) "in my world" advert looks like a smug prat. Note to self: do not be in his world… #
• We are stronger than Guido: http://bit.ly/b7tbd8 (yay). MENSA, Miller, Mailer, Plath and Pinter were sadly left out of the methodology. #
• #ebz meh. http://fallenlondon.com/c/99058 #
• Re London's mayor, I've been deliberately avoiding saying intemperate things like 'fuck Boris' up to now. Fuck Boris: http://bit.ly/bqXKB4 #
• Yes. Awesome: RT @howespaul: A fantastic and very funny ad on the Resources Super Profits Tax – pass it on http://youtu.be/H4PcQfz0MfU #
• I was distressed by the news that the # of temporary AUS visas was going to be cut by 50% – until I realised they meant visa *classes*! #
• Daily Mail "are you posh" test: http://bit.ly/bYw51X – surely q11-13 are just "not being ignorant", though? (via @sarabedford) #
• Pleased to discover that the Palace Hotel in Coogee is c.50x better than the Coogee Bay Hotel. #escalatorwin #
• Can someone send me an email explaining what the fuck FourSquare does/is for? #confused #
• This will be fun. Looking forward to the fireworks -> RT @libcon Peter Tatchell to present Pope documentary http://bit.ly/9TTi3J #
• YES! This: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2791 #
• Saturday night in with #ebz – oh yeah, I rock. http://fallenlondon.com/c/101611 #
• BEST THING EVER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5qtoecVIo0 #
• Worst article in ages: http://www.forward.com/articles/4184 – summary: "if you don't like Israel murdering people, you're an antisemite" #

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• Haha, enjoying @BPGlobalPR – this is why having a real social media presence of your own is important… (via @Rooney83) #
• I'm officially bored of factors driving premium product consumption. And it's bloody 9PM, and I'm not done for today yet… #
• "The war may be staged, but the murder is real" #classicHoratioquotes #CSIMiami #
• Boo! But g'luck. RT @jackschofield "after 25 years, I'm leaving the Guardian at the end of this month. I'll continue to write for Ask Jack." #
• Watching a Kiwi doco about police – took about 5 mins to work out whether it was Aussie, UK or *other*. This describes NZ accurately… #
• Some #ebz, then up early, then more work. Woo deadline week. http://fallenlondon.com/c/89488 #
• If even half the Awl's take on Lost is right, I'm glad I gave up watching after a few episodes of season 1. Utter toss: http://bit.ly/cyKVjJ #
• If true, I'm beyond comment. Tories are utter cnuts. RT @SamuelCoates Gary Newlove's widow, Helen Newlove, is being made a Conservative peer #
• I don't support hanging, but I'd fully endorse it for the sadistic bastards in the CPS who brought this case to court: http://bit.ly/cBfgXN #
• They're kids; they're playing a silly game; if you think that warrants a record as a sex offender, you are inhuman. (via @heresy_corner) #
• RT @BBCLauraK Long term parly sq protester Brian Haw has been arrested <- @chickyog do I get points for this one? #
• In other news, police confirm unicorns don't exist -> RT @libcon: Police finally deny England shirts were ever banned http://bit.ly/cJ4Z5g #
• The Daily Mash is seriously on form re: the insane "kids playing doctors and nurses" show trial: http://bit.ly/aF6l6Y #
• RT @intruth I had to quit my job manipulating the reproductive parts of flowers. I couldn't handle the stigma (via @msgracefh) #
• RT @jtopper: I had no idea .jobs was a TLD. Research In Motion use it for their careers pages. http://rim.jobs/ Fnar. (via @dnotice) #
• Work kinda done (for today). It's kinda late. Need an early night. #ebz and then that's it, as they say. http://fallenlondon.com/c/90931 #
• Re anonymity for people accused of rape: worth noting that if LDs, Labour, PC, SNP and SDLP voted 'no' then it'd fail. #
• Since Labour, PC, SNP and SDLP are likely to support 'no', it's worth lobbying your LD MP on this one… #
• Speaking of insane laws, if you live in London it's probably worth reporting this to the Met to see what happens: http://bit.ly/c6V1wh #
• This is aces: right-wing conservative Americans hate Muslims so much they've endorsed Sex & The City to annoy them: http://bit.ly/cGHDVh #
• Really good explanation here of debt vs deficit vs cuts -> RT @jamesrbuk When chartporn goes wrong. http://is.gd/cpcrU (via @mudlarklives) #
• WIN -> RT @ArmyofDave: Working on a book version of "The Human Centipede" in the style of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". Sleep well, kids. #
• Report editing proceeding like a steam train, oh yeah. #ebz then bed, then more tomorrow, woo! http://fallenlondon.com/c/92465 #
• Jesus. The crow outside my window is the biggest I've seen. It's the size of a cat. And it's ripping tree bark off with its beak #thebirds #
• Just set the smoke alarm off, having forgotten about my toasts. Oh noes! #breakfastfail #
• I blame the crow. #
• What the hell? "Foster’s has not flourished in the wine business" – well, apart from Wolf Blass, Penfolds and Rosemount http://bit.ly/aDUomm #
• #Fosters demerger makes sense – wine would sit better in global spirits group, beer with global brewer. But who'll buy at current A$ rates? #
• Enjoying editing someone else's report about alcohol marketing. The "health claims" section is particularly fun. #
• I have not laughed this much at a film review in quite some time: http://bit.ly/aEWDha #satc2 #
• The Apple Store in Bondi Jn still has no roof. The 9AM opening tomorrow will involve a serious night's work. I mean, *really* serious… #
• Vodafact of the day: a friend worked on voda.au's roll-out as an IT contractor – job was so hideous he quit not only Voda but IT contracting #
• Now he fixes mates' computers for petty cash – but as he says, he doesn't want to kill them or himself, so it's a step up. #
• Feel rubbish. Have work to do. If I was employed, I'd call in sick #freelancewoes #middleclassdisasters #
• I think I might be in love with two women at once: my excellent girlfriend, and also DCI Tennison. Hope this is OK. #reawakenedkidcrushes #
• I thoroughly intend to rely on this in court RT @Helzbels Have few pints and the speed limit's 95mph. Excellent. #
• Erm, yeh. "Nobody in the UK is poor because of the dole, so let's abolish it" -> RT @Old Holborn: Unchaining the poor http://bit.ly/9nqUv7” #
• This man *is* a real journalist: http://bit.ly/c7qRrf – respect. #
• RT @sadbearhandbook: I completely misjudged what waterboarding in Guantanamo Bay meant. I wonder if I can get my deposit back. #
• In case you were worried, just to confirm the Tories *are* unspeakable bastards: http://bit.ly/aazD5n #
• Feel like grim death. Consoling myself with #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/94437 #
• My weekend is made primartily of ILL and SLEEP. This is irritating. although hopefully implies a week ahead of WELL. #
• If you think there's anything wrong with what David Laws has done, you're a massive prat. http://bit.ly/bpwuBq #teacup #
• Also, the Telegraph are massive bastards for releasing the evidence now, not to mention raving homophobes. Fuck them. Go Laws! #
• RT @rockeye It amuses me that there's always more Eurovision commentary in my Australian stream than there is in my UK stream… #
• Post-weekend, post sick-bed #ebz catch-up time, yay. http://fallenlondon.com/c/96982 #
• CROWDSOURCING: has anyone paid using their own (ie not work, and not self-employed tax-deducted) money for a FT/WSJ subscription? #
• Based on Twitter replies re FT/WSJ, the Times model *may* be a bit less shafted than I thought. I'm still tipping "shafted", though. #
• Shit! Red Bull bosses will not be impressed. Good news for Button and Hamilton though… #gp #
• RT at my dad's txt: Not sure what is F1 equiv of Alex Fergie's famous "hairdrier" bollocking, but Vettel & Webber will shortly find out #f1 #
• This is good -> Chris Dillow @libcon The David Laws paradox explains why I'm on the left http://bit.ly/czUVLZ #

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Rory Cellan-Jones has a good article on the BBC site about Murdoch’s paywall. Well, I say “good”; being on the BBC site and hence subject to Strict Impartiality Etc, it’s far too neutral about the paywall’s prospects of success (which are zero). But it’s informative.

Most informative of all is the final proof that Times associate editor Danny Finkelstein is not, in any meaningful sense, a journalist:

I asked Danny Finkelstein whether it bothered him that from now on none of his journalism would “go viral”, with the risk that he’d be left invisible on the sidelines as the online debate raged through news sites without paywalls. “No,” he insisted,”I want my employer to be paid for my intellectual property.”

In my current role as a freelance market analyst, I want my client to be paid for my intellectual property, because I write reports that are only of interest to the people who pay for them. Those reports can fairly be categorised as intellectual property, and my relationship with my client can fairly be categorised as one of mutual commercial advantage.

As a result, I tailor the reports I write to meet the client’s brief as closely as possible (having used my experience in the relevant sector to ensure that we can agree a brief that helps their commercial objectives). When I find information that doesn’t help achieve this, I don’t try to include it in the output I pass onto my client, even if it’s interesting – why would I? It doesn’t help the main goal, of ensuring my employer is paid for my intellectual property.

This, pretty obviously, is not journalism. It’s the opposite – I’m finding things out selectively, based on a commercial brief, and the things that I do find out will be kept secret and used by people who’re willing to pay for them.

My blogging (at least, the data/analytical stuff I do on LC, and the transport stuff that goes up here) is journalism – I find out new things, whether previously unknown or hidden in plain sight, and then try and disseminate them as widely as possible.

If, when faced with the choice of “shout as loudly as possible so that as many people as possible can hear what you’ve found or what you have to say” or “back the boss in his plans to make more cash by stopping people from hearing what you have to say”, you pick the latter, then whatever you may be, you’re certainly not a journalist.

• Wow, I managed to confine drunken lunacy to Skype last night – no visible online traces. #
• Not another bloody ash cloud? Thor will, clearly, have his revenge. Hope they're gone by August… #
• If you think teaching The Wire in university seminars is 'dumbing down', you're officially the dumb one http://bit.ly/a6j8rp #
• #ebz The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Sits on your chest when you're sleeping flat! http://fallenlondon.com/c/81591 #
• This is good: http://www.newscientist.com/special/living-in-denial #
• Amused to see Lord Triesman forced to resign for saying things which *everyone knows to be true*. #
• My gf has pointed out that I should contribute to #bandfoodpuns, but I can't actually think of any. Today is not a good day for me… #
• Haha, #abbottfail – of course he's right, but *sheesh that was daft*… #
• .@DMiliband @tugsandtost Forward not backward! And always twirling, twirling to victory. Sheesh, could you get any cheesier? #
• Seriously, I've been out of the UK for a while; is this some kind of wind-up? http://bit.ly/a3hVMu – if not (probably anyway) I'm staying #
• Quick blast of #ebz then bed, as I need to get up early tomorrow. Yes, me, sensible. Shocking! http://fallenlondon.com/c/82830 #
• Because it isn't getting airplay on commercial radio #thatswhyyoursingle #isntsellingverywell #
• I've never had to go to town in a hooded raincoat *and* sunnies before. Well, except when I auditioned for the Matrix #sydneyweather #
• On the one hand, I'm sure the illumination of night CityRail trains deters crime and general badness. On the other hand, GRR TOO BRIGHT! #
• Tea, #ebz and then bed. A good night. http://fallenlondon.com/c/84034 #
• Comedy legal ruling of the day: http://www.workerscompensation.com/compnewsnetwork/blogwire/7887.html #
• This is properly insane (via @bengoldacre) – really does make one feel slightly Littlejohn-ish http://bit.ly/9rVZJe http://dlvr.it/15ddb #
• RT @chickyog Con-Dems to stop deportation of LGBT asylum seekers when 'at proven risk of imprisonment, torture or execution'. Bloody lefties #
• Likewise. On reflection, DOH. RT @mePadraigReidy No one would have sex with me as a teenager cos it never occurred to me to ask them #
• No. I literally can't. CITE? RT @juliebindel Can you believe the coalition intends to introduce anonymity for men accused of rape? #
• See also RT @randomrightwingnutter Can you believe the coalition intends to give every terrorist a council house and gbp50k in benefits? #
• Apologies @juliebindel – yes, they do. That's shitty. Links are brilliant, why not try them? p24 http://bit.ly/9xkg03 (link via @steff631) #
• I think he misspelt "demonise" RT @libcon How to democratise Oxbridge http://bit.ly/bHolgX #
• The Hitchhiker's Guide To Milton Keynes #lesserbooks #
• The Reasonably Bearable Lightness Of Being #lesserbooks #
• The Not Really Holy, More Just A Collection Of Old Laws, Stories And Proverbs Bible #lesserbooks #
• For The Term Of Six Months, With Time Off For Good Behaviour #lesserbooks #
• The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Embryo #lesserbooks #
• Brief #ebz break http://fallenlondon.com/c/85846 #
• The Diamond As Big As Quite A Big Diamond #lesserbooks #
• The Rock Of Crack As Big As Quite A Big Rock Of Crack #lesserbooks #
• Lib-left qn: why the fuck does the otherwise sane Dsquared have such a hard-on for the US federal justice system? http://bit.ly/cK5svw #
• enjoying revolving restaurant japery with assorted sydney tweeps. Hurrah! #
• A lovely weekend with @ChrissieM and crazy Sydney tweeps. Now a bit of #ebz before INFINITE WORK MONDAY http://fallenlondon.com/c/88214 #
• Londoners are sunbathing. We've got the heater on. Them's the breaks, I guess. #
• ACES! RT@catdonn "I was born, lucky me. In the land that I love. Though I’m poor, I am free" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4VdcMXVO_g #
• ACES! RT @catdonn "I was born, lucky me. In the land that I love. Though I’m poor, I am free" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4VdcMXVO_g #
• My blog is buggered, FYI – have asked the host about why: looks like their DB server is down, but I may have been spam-attacked again… #
• Blog now fixed, within an hour of notifying the fault, on a Sunday. Mythic Beasts are ace hosts. #
• "enormous social damage caused by computer misuse not recognized" > because it doesn't exist. Idiot. http://www.socialistunity.com/?p=4930 #
• .@jackofkent PR campaigns that favour liberal outcomes are to be encouraged, surely? – PR's a tool for good or bad, not the enemy itself #

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A silly XKCD today, suggesting that because sensible non-ubergeek people didn’t back open source file formats in the early 2000s, they now have no right to be upset by Facebook’s Doing Great Evil.

There are only two problems with this analysis:

1) Facebook isn’t doing great evil, at all, and if you think it is then you are a paranoid loony.

Facebook is making money by aggregating user data and selling targeted advertising. Well, yes – that’s what it’s for.

In other news, newspapers exist to sell adverts (with the content being a regrettable but necessary expense to persuade people to read the adverts), and retail banks exist to sell loans (with interest on savings being a regrettable but necessary expense to allow the loans to be made [*], and running current accounts a regrettable but necessary expense to acquire customer relationships). I’ve also got some studies on ursine defecation and Papal religion, if anyone’s unconvinced.

I signed up to Facebook in full knowledge that the company would sell aggregated user data to strategic marketers, and would do its best to target direct marketing to me, to the greatest extent that data protection laws would allow it to. In exchange for which, I’d be provided with a useful social networking infrastructure for bugger all money.

It doesn’t spam me, it doesn’t pass on anything to strangers that I’m not happy for strangers to see. This is win/win.

2) The only people who think Facebook is doing great evil are the same people who wanked smugly on about non-open file formats in 2003.

Well, that one’s not entirely true. Stupid peasants also think Facebook is doing great evil, because they think it’s a tool for murderous paedophiles to groom victims for their doom. But they can safely be ignored.

The people who’re stirring up the current fuss about Facebook privacy, &c &c ad nauseam are total geeks. Half of them weren’t even on bloody Facebook in the first place; and the ones who were are doing ridiculous grandstanding by actually deleting their accounts (rather than tightening their privacy settings if they’re worried that friends might forward stuff to other people, or something).

Meanwhile, normal people continue to use Facebook, hopefully with a little more awareness that posting “lolz I am so wasted, gunna pull a sickie tomorrow hehe” where people who disapprove of wastedness and/or pulling sickies might be able to read it is Unwise.

This is all to the good.

[*] some UK banks during the 2000s thought they could cut out this expense via much cheaper wholesale funding. This proved not to be wholly correct.

• I suspect a lot of stupid lies are going to be told in the UK about fairer electoral systems over the next few weeks. #
• So I re-edited the drunk piece from last night and published it (it's the OneWorld article that I auto-tweeted about 10 mins ago). #
• Conclusion: I can still do some pretty decent analysis at 4AM – but I also tend to drift into irrelevant anecdotes and libel the French… #
• RT @davidschneider: "Party like a rock star, look like a movie star, kill like the Death Star, collapse in on yourself like a dwarf star" #
• Alleged #LabLib offer of AV by legislation, followed by a referendum on STV, would be ace. If Nick Clegg doesn't sign up, he needs shooting #
• (note to Twitter police: he doesn't actually need shooting) #
• Geek-crowdsourcing: #Australia and the #UK both use #DVB-T for #DTT, so why can't my UK-bought TV find any digital channels over here? #
• I have a feeling it's something to do with frequency ranges (my TV asks me which country I'm in for setup, but Aus isn't an option) #
• I'm hoping the #budget today includes measures that make the AUD fall back to AUD2.5/GBP for 2 weeks, and then recover to current levels #
• My prediction: no Lib/Con or Lib/Lab pact; Tory minority govt; cuts passed by leaders' consensus (with some Labs and Libs voting against). #
• Main price is that cuts lighter in Scotland, Wales or NI, in exchange for which Celts agree not to vote on England issues #
• After a couple of years, the Tories will have a fight about Europe and the government will collapse. Then: more fun & games! #
• Me at LibCon (erm, that's not a good abbrv this week, is it?) on the fallacy that The Markets require a strong gov't: http://bit.ly/985p8v #
• This is good. http://thewanderinghedgehog.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/worse-than-a-crime/ #
• I guess the question is, is anyone actually going to tweet about the #ausbudget, or just about which hashtag we're gonna use? #
• Oh god. I seem to be following #ge2010 *and* #ausbudget. On the plus side, at least the latter will *probably* only take an evening to sort #
• Watching the #2girls1cup episode of #Inbetweeners. TV WIN! #
• Donate and RT, if you care about freedom of speech in the UK, or anywhere where UK legal precedents are considered: http://bit.ly/9I3IC7 #
• (yes, I know it's technically England & Wales, and anywhere E&W precedents are considered – but Scotland definitely fits latter) #
• For those who aren't politix geeks, BPS is actually how STV is known internationally. Wouldn't it be luverly if that became accurate? #
• So, I was wrong about the horse-trading. And am rather angry with Mr Clegg. Posts at Banditry & LC http://bit.ly/aS8vmg http://bit.ly/9RXP5R #
• In somewhat-overshadowed-by-UK-news news, red-state America has gone insane: http://n.pr/agUtw5 http://bit.ly/91ZC84 #
• Instead of locking up child refugees, we'll lock up their parents and put them in care. W00t, massive Clegg win. Not. #
• Pointless boondoggle that would never have made any difference to anything scrapped. Money-saving w00t, otherwise meh #IDcards #
• If Sunny's sources are right here, then *jesus this sucks*: http://bit.ly/a7x27s – there will be no electoral reform at all. #
• AV referendum won't pass as Tories will campaign against, and Lords 'reform' is just a commission that can be delayed forever #
• AV referendum won't pass as Tories will campaign against, and Lords 'reform' = commission that'll be delayed forever, not a commitment #
• Spectator in "not wrong" shock -> RT @James_Macintyre Spectator declared "victory" because Libs in "non jobs" and praises IDS appmt. #
• Amused at (left-and-right) libertarian pantwetting over Section 10 of alleged Libservative pact, despite *nothing substantive*! Naivetastic. #
• "without good reason"? FFS, that *always* just means "unless we say so". Have you lot learned nothing from, erm, all politicians ever? #
• BTW, I'm talking about Section 10 (Civil Liberties) of the possible leaked Libservative pact: http://bit.ly/cdksD7 @bellagerens and others #
• Notably missing from the supposed Libservative civil liberties manifesto: any commitment to retain the Human Right Act http://bit.ly/b6UAcW #
• London buggered as an international air hub. Yeah, thanks. *looking forward to changing at Frankfurt every time I go anywhere* #
• Whether or not you agree with him, Lord Adonis definitely one of the smartest people to have been in gov't lately – http://bit.ly/d6FPUo #
• J Galbraith, who knows a lot more about economics than you, on why government deficits don't matter: http://bit.ly/cmcYVG #
• (if Paul Krugman, or the ghosts of Smith, Keynes or Friedman, feel my last tweet is unfair, then I'll retract it. For anyone else, no.) #
• Respect to Senator Scott Ludlam of the Australian Greens – a politician? Making total sense? Que? http://bit.ly/c6ls6c (via @NathanaelB) #
• Damn, gmail is clever: just wrote "I've attached…" in a doc where I'd forgotten the attachment, and it stopped me from sending! #
• #ebz The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Wraps round your throat like a cheap cravat! http://fallenlondon.com/c/76920 #
• Things I need to stop doing while working freelance #1: counting time on things I dislike (housework, food shopping, fixing stuff) as work #
• Obviously that's work time for "have I done enough work today yet?" purposes, not for billing purposes… #
• More to the point, nobody wants to blow up NZ, but all foreign animals want to eat NZ animals because NZ animals are LAME. @monstroso #
• NZ is the only country where a single individual (someone's cat) has caused the extinction of an entire species @monstroso #
• Also, why did nobody tell me the awesome Mr Higson (@monstroso) was on Twitter? Only realised identity when clicked through after replying! #
• Brought onboard for the label (and then kept well away from decisionmaking): Vince Cable #coalitionrhymingslang #
• Inspired by @CulturalSnow, "twas brillig, and the Michael Goves did gyre and gimble in the wabe" #coalitionwhimsicalpoetry #
• Token darkie = Baroness Warsi #coalitionrhymingslang #
• Pass The Duchy On The Left Hand Side = Lord Strathclyde #coalitionrhymingslang #reallystupidpuns #
• At least he didn't get in = Oliver Letwin #coalitionrhymingslang #
• Pleased to note that, unlike most of the Cabinet, George Letwin is neither Right nor Honourable (yes, I know that's just cos he's not a PC) #
• Public transport'll get hammered = Dominic Hammond #coalitionrhymingslang #richardsbrother? #
• CORRECTION: Public transport'll get hammered = Phil Hammond #coalitionrhymingslang #richardsbrother #toryconfusion #
• Working class empathy fail: http://bit.ly/c1OD1V – I've only ever lived in houses with small bathrooms; have used loo as loo, and sat in… #
• …other rooms better-designed for sitting. I've never (as adult or as kid) had a bathroom with a chair. What the hell is Mangan on about? #
• I've never done gov't consultancy work, but at my old place we had 6-month-grads billed out to HMG at gbp150 per hour @BorisWatch #
• Oz TV is repeating all of #PrimeSuspect. This is awesome. Best line so far is, obviously, from Helen Mirren as DCI Tennyson: #
• Boss: "if this missing persons case turns into a murder inquiry, we can spare an extra six uniformed police." #
• Tennyson: "What, as pallbearers?" #
• RT @MarkReckons Blogpost: Ken Clarke – the great political survivor http://bit.ly/9wZDmv #
• Fuck, that was intense. Why doesn't ITV make amazing shit like that any more? Oh yeah, because #Tories sold it. #primesuspect #
• Feel rubbish. Had a terrible driving lesson, due to said rubbishness. I'm sustained only by the fact that the evening will be lovely. #
• Ah, Arkell vs Pressdram – my favourite resolution to a lawsuit ever: http://www.nasw.org/users/nbauman/arkell.htm #
• *frantically changes sheets, empties bins, puts bag in hoover in doomed attempt to make new girlfriend think I'm not a total slob* #
• Quick, someone market one of these to "fiat money will collapse" teabaggers! http://bit.ly/9icwil (via @thabet1979) #
• If I had a pet otter, I would definitely name it "Rayleigh". #
• …much as if I had a pet coyote, I would definitely name it "Don". #
• #Crossrail's going ahead. Woo. Was slightly concerned the Tories were going to punish London for not voting them in… #
• I can't think of a way to phrase the next tweet without sounding like a pervert. So I won't. #
• Thanks for #FFs, @chickyog and @sunnysingh_sw6 #
• Pleasant, if weird – Speccie piece supporting left-lib (ie "problem is poverty/lack of cohesion") view on migration http://bit.ly/bae5Qu #
• Works for all religious-right types: RT @hangbitch: "Dorries loves all embryos, until they grow up to be poor people… #
• I follow NI politix more than most Brits, and never heard of RE: RT @BelTel Reg Empey quits as Ulster Unionist leader http://bit.ly/dyvqoS #
• Bare feet are by far the most effective, if not least painful, means of picking up broken glass. FACT. #
• How the hell can someone who's politically aware opt for "Vince Cable's a useless twat" as a comment? #

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• #Sydney's public transport system reminds me of London's 10 years ago – ace for routes you commute, 'mare for infrequent trips. #
• ….and lack of through bus/train or bus/bus tix for single journeys is criminal in both cities. #
• This is not beatable. All other makers of offensive satirical songs should, at this point, give up: http://bit.ly/clUOHm (VNSFW; Minchin) #
• Listening to a girl who's either having great sex, or pretending very well, on the balcony next door. Good work. #
• Either the same girl – or, more likely, someone who's life is less fun than that – got cross about me Skyping my great friend. #
• So now I'm indoors, and so are they. I'm sure we're both happier that way. Or at least, her miserablebinterty outweighs my lack-of-jollity. #
• Don't understand non-music noise complaints. Loud tekno, or even loud rock irritating – loud convo just means ppl having more fun than you. #
• …so if you complain, that's because you're a no-mates loser. #
• Only time I've ever made a noise complaint was 5AM on a Wednesday when ppl were playing Oasis. And even that was because gf-at-time made me. #
• As far as I was concerned, hell, Oasis at 5AM wasn't gonna be any worse than work at 8:30. #
• If they'd been playing R&B, then I might've been cross. But then I'd've phoned their mums and it'd've all been fine… #
• I haven't yet read any daft US articles blaming the Brits for the latest teacupgate (oh noes! Oily fish!), but I bet there are at least 50 #
• I hadn't heard of @CatherineDeveny before today, but following this humourless character assassination, I'm now a fan: http://bit.ly/c1Ambe #
• Now everyone knows photography is easy, people who've historically lied that it's hard are getting shafted. Good. http://bit.ly/by3VKA #
• Do racists not even get a *tiny* "err, hang on" twinge when they lie that denying the choice to wear the niqab is *pro* women's rights…? #
• Hooray: ratio of "films that suck" to "films that don't suck" will improve slightly: http://bit.ly/d9uRQE #
• Things that get you sacked from The Age: writing funny things on Twitter. Things that don't: spanking young boys' bums: http://bit.ly/ab3yQl #
• Cutting ppl's faces is evil. Joking about cutting ppl's faces is a bit tasteless. If you can't see the difference, you're a moron #dyerzoo #
• Thanks to the beautiful @ChrissieM for reminding me of this EXCELLENCE: http://bit.ly/58olxJ – and it's nearly winter here, so season-tastic #
• Aaaagh. I don't have The Holy Bible on my iPod. Some arsewit upstairs is playing late-period M Jackson loudly, and I need an antidote. #
• Panic over, I've found The Downward Spiral. Closer FTW. #
• Seriously, what kind of terrible cnut would *choose* to listen to Earth Song or You Are Not Alone? Billie Jean or Thriller, hell yeah. #
• Haha, Daily Mirror WIN: http://virtualstoa.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/mirror0605.jpg #
• This is amazing political (not party-political) polemic. I'm a decent writer, but I wish I could write like the Rodent: http://bit.ly/bXxeE8 #
• Great news re #Alliance Naomi Long in East Belfast – did I really just hear that mad bigot blogger David Vance won 1800 votes there? #
• Yes, yes I did. http://bit.ly/bjDMz1 #
• Swing from #Tories to #LibDems in the south-west. That's *very very good news*. #
• Dammit, @davidwhittam beat me to that gag. #
• Thanks to @qwghlm @griefoftwats swing is Lib-Tory in Torbay; Tory-Lib in Thornbury. The latter is a pity. #ge2010 #
• "People have been talking about decapitation, not in the physical sense", says #Radio4. Shame. #ge2010 #
• Anyone know how much money #Ashcroft spent in #Kingswood to buy that 10% local swing? #
• When Gordon Brown speaks from the heart as in his acceptance speech now, he's actually rather likeable, despite it all #ge2010 #
• It's 1040AM here, but if the #LibDems win back #Guildford from the revolting #AnneMilton, I'll have a large Scotch anyway #
• Na H-Eileanan An Iar is apparently a real place in the UK. Hehe… #
• Bum. #AnneMilton holds #Guildford. No Scotch for me. #
• Still, the #Tooting news is delightful. #
• The #LibDem vote fail is bizarre. I guess the Murdoch press *does* still have the power to terrify sheeple. #ge2010 #
• *Please* can we get this trending? #sinkandrewneillsfuckingboat #
• #SNP tossers whining that they weren't allowed on the *national* leadership debates. Oh, get out of it… #
• Not for the first time, I wish I were Scottish. Why do my fellow Englishmen keep voting for those #Tory bastards? #
• (anyone who says "tax" is a cunt. I've been happy to pay higher-rate tax for nearly all my working life, because I'm not a selfish dickhead) #
• At this point, I just really, really hope @DrEvanHarris and Lembit hold their seats. Fucking fuckity fuck #LibDemMeltdown #ge2010 #
• FUCK. Lembit lost to the fucking #Tories. #LibDemMeltdown #aaaagh #
• I was already planning to apply for residency and ultimately citizenship in #Australia. #ge2010 is doing nothing to change that view… #
• Keeping my fingers crossed for #Eastbourne #ge2010 #
• FUCK YEAH!!!!!! #ge2010 #LibDems #Eastbourne #
• Next time round, #LibDems should focus their resources on seats by the seaside with "East" in their name… #
• I don't want to see more Labour seat losses, but if Blears loses Salford I'll drink a whole bottle of Scotch and run through Sydney naked #
• Just spoke to my dad, who's been a Liberal voter for 40 years – so he's rather less surprised and disappointed than me by another #LibFail #
• Shame about #OxfordEast… oh well, at least it was a Labour hold and LD fail, not a Tory hold. #
• Bum. Looks like #Tories have gained #NewtonAbbot from #LibDems #
• *Crosses more fingers than I thought I previously had* RT @DrEvanHarris: I'm in a recount folks! #lookingdifficult #
• Redcar goes Liberal? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!? #ge2010 #
• It's a sad night for #LibDems – but must be sadder for #Tories. Only a few months ago, they seemed on for a big win, not minority scrabbling #
• #BNP were never gonna win #Barking, outside of Nazi dreams / leftie nightmares. But nice to hear they've also missed out on 2nd place. #
• In non-election-news, Graham Foulkes is an idiot: http://bit.ly/cTsE05 (and 5 years on, grief is no excuse for idiocy) #
• Haha, @KerryMP wins, #kerryout fails. #
• I think I'm the only person currently tweeting on #ge2010 who's sober. It may be time for a beer. #
• I'm torn on whether to celebrate Jacqui Smith's loss, or whether to lament another Tory gain. Probably both. #
• If you live in Oxford West & Abingdon and voted Tory, then you're properly a scumbag. @drevanharris is the best guy in parliament. #
• FUCKING FUCKING FUCK. People of Oxford, you are dicks. RT @AlexConnor Ox west and Abingdon result: Evan Harris: 23730 Blackwood: 23906 #
• By the way, that includes the Labourites in Ox East who smeared the Lib Dems in the knowledge that'd help the Tories next door… #
• Right. I need a fucking beer. Reports that the Tories won't get their reverse-Portillo moment with Ed Balls are gonna have to be the excuse #
• Labour's new Leeds MP Rachel Reeves seems like a good sort #ge2010 #
• Libs hold Sutton. Thank fsck. #
• Indeed. Tories are just Tories – people who campaigned Lab in OxWest should know better RT @lth Oxford West Labour Party: you're fired. #
• Fuck me, @Nadine4mp is a nasty, nasty piece of work. #
• I'm enjoying this beer. And the failure of mad fundie #PhillipaStroud doesn't make up for @drevanharris, but it's still pleasing. #
• Thank fuck the London Toryslide hasn't quite happened RT @labourmatters Labour hold Hammersmith! #
• THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS HAVE TAKEN NORWICH SOUTH FROM LABOUR AND CHARLES CLARKE IS OUT!!!!!!! #
• That makes it time for a whisky, even if it's only 2pm. FUCK YEAH. Goodbye, evil troll man. #
• *Charles?* – someone at C4's been at the sauce RT @channel4news: Ken Clarke knocked off his seat by Lib Dem Simon Wright in Norwich South #
• Agreed re Buck. But Fox would've been good in Islington S RT @politic_animal Fantastic to see Buck and Thornbury back. And so unlikely. #
• Even though I'm mostly LD, if Jeremy Corbyn loses Islington N I may cry. #
• Celebrity candidature: the excellent Dave Rowntree got 5x as many votes as the execrable Esther Rantzen… #
• No streaking through Sydney for me – they do still weigh the Lab vote in #Salford. A 10% swing to the LDs is good news though #blears #
• Dunno why people are getting so grumpy about #Balls. In his position, I'd be doing exactly the same thing. #
• Then again, #Balls has always been one of my favourite NuLab types – never quite understood hatred of him. #
• He's clever and well-educated, he knows a lot about economics, and he's not a bigoted fuckhead like Blunkett, Clarke, Burnham, etc… #
• RT @nextleft: it was a hell of an achievement to win Edgbaston in 1997 and hold it in 2005 – but so much more of one to hold it in 2010 #
• Jeremy Corbyn stays, with a 3.6% swing in his favour. Woo! #thankfuckforthat #IloveyouJezzabutnotinagayway #
• RT @paulwaugh: Really interesting that Twitter about 20 mins ahead of broadcasters on key results. #ge2010 #
• Anyone know what the *hell* occurred in Reading W to drive 12% swing? Tory and Lab candidates both Asian, dunno if that makes a difference #
• RT @Helzbels YES! YES! YES! FELTHAM & HESTON STILL LABOUR! #
• Loving the fact that London has remained sane, even as the rest of SE England has gone evil. If the Scots secede, can the Londoners? #
• The Conservatives have gained #Sherwood. Assuming the Sheriff of Nottingham was probably their candidate…? #
• 61 votes for the pro-vampire party in Brighton… #
• …but CAROLINE LUCAS FUCKING WINS IT! #
• Shit, that was an "up and down" moment. Yay Lucas, but the world's most punchable cunt, a man who makes Cameron look lovable, won Richmond. #
• If you don't despise and loathe Zac Goldsmith, there is something wrong with you. #
• Have run out of beer, so moved onto $10 a box (gbp2.32 a bottle) wine. I don't think @ChrissieM will necessarily approve. Sorry, babes… #
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pDRIJC31tU RT @uaf Barking: Lab 24,628 Con 8,073 BNP 6,620 LD 3,719 UKIP 1,300 #
• Excellent Lucas in, mad Yaqoob and evil Griffin humiliated. Yes, people of the UK, that was the correct response to niche parties. #
• I don't *hate* RESPECT like I hate the BNP, but I fear their insane politics almost as much… #
• Good news for the Labour left, as John Cruddas holds Dagenham by more than 2000 votes. And again, the Nazis were humiliated. #
• I feel sorry for David Mundell. Must be lonely being Scotland's only Tory ;-) #
• .@hopisen Greens? #
• Yes, I'd rather the Tories hadn't won Harrow East either. But still.. #
• McNulty's wake: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X5-phTa08c #hahahahahahahaha #harrowgoodbye #
• Labour and Lib Dems won more than half the votes. If you don't think that's a mandate for a coalition, you have no brain. #
• RT @shibleylondon I note that Prof Vernon Bogdanor, Cameron's tutor at Oxford, argues that Cameron cannot lead a "strong and stable govmnt" #
• Note that *no* market movements indicate any problems with hung parliament (just fallout from Greece crisis, shared by rest of Europe) #
• Irritating thing about being a not-very-partisan, Tory-hating vague-LD is that I'm never sure whether Labourites tweeting "XX wins, yay"… #
• …means "Tory kept out, hence yay, NuLab clone beats Lib, hence boo, or old-skool Lab beats Lib, hence meh"… #
• Who cares whether Labour supported electoral reform before? Better one sinner who repenteth, etc… #
• Idiot on the news claiming UK election is relevant to UK bond yields – no, thiat's contagion from the Eurozone crisis, you tits. #
• Sadly, most FS professionals tend to be Tories (because of correlation with 'greedy bastards'), so pretend financial data supports their BS. #
• The last tweet I RT'd from @mrmarksteel is the only electoral comment in several hours to make me literally LOL… #
• #ge2010. Various non-UK ppl asked me who'd won, answer was "I was the only sober commentator watching til 9AM GMT and I've no bloody idea" #
• "only sober commenter *apart from @nosemonkey of course*. I just found that concept hard to process…. #
• Going through downloads folder. Why the hell did I download a map of London Bridge station at 3AM this March, *after* I'd moved to Oz? #
• It'll be interesting to see @privateeyenews on the Harrods sale (erm, sale *of* Harrods). Anyone know a newsagent that sells it in #Sydney? #
• Also, why can't @privateeyenews get a good, or even poxy, website with all content? I'd pay a subscription fee just to get it as PDF/vmag… #
• Surely telling someone to go roger a gerbil is just a relatively standard, civilised way to have a debate over here? #gerbilgate #
• Upstairs at the Tea Gardens, Bondi Jn, is one of the most civilised places for a drink in the known universe. And it's only 5 mins from home #
• ….this is made all the more surreal by the fact that downstairs at the Tea Gardens is an uneasy mix of bogans and drunken Irishmen. #
• Really looking forward to my trip to HK in August. Pleasantly amazed that China didn't fuck the place up after 1997: http://bit.ly/aIZPcY #
• I can't see enough Tories accepting STV for a Lib-Con pact to be viable; I also can't see Clegg pact-ing without STV. What'm I missing? #
• (obviously multi-member STV would be better, but single-member STV would be enough of a benefit to be worthwhile for Clegg) #
• Today was officially Expat Day in Aussie pubs – everyone else at home with their mums ;-) #
• This is cool (via @artoftravel): http://beclee.com/2010/05/signs-australia/ #
• Best reason to hope for new election in 6 months -> RT @DrEvanHarris Not interested in House of Lords. Better plan is winning back OxWAb #
• Since @lauriepink has started an "inappropriately titled kids books" meme, http://bit.ly/9Y5uzH doesn't do wonders to dispel stereotypes… #
• Awesome. @espiekermann is on Twitter. Do follow. (via @patrick_myles) #
• This is a stupid article: http://bit.ly/a3fOk7 <- if you want stuff to be public, post it to Facebook; if you don't, send by private email. #
• The #Bluetones have a new album out. WTF? Next you'll be telling me 60Ft Dolls are on a reunion tour… #
• Outside of loony Tory press, does anyone think The Markets give a fuck about whether DC, GB or NC is PM? (clue: no, they don't…) #
• The Markets are an aggregation of mildly clever, very greedy people; they know slightly less about politics than poltiical tweeters… #
• …but in the context of #ge2010 it's their job to know nearly as much as us. They know that any plausible government will cut deficit… #
• …including a minority government, and the rest is just flubbery from people who happen to be right-wing and have senior jobs at banks. #
• Dear Anyone With A Cinema In #Sydney. Please show #FourLions. I'll pay $50 for a ticket, if required. Thanks, JB #
• Best airport in western world IMO. SIN better & looking forward to HKG RT @anasanchez I think I've changed my mind re T5 – it's not that bad #
• The one annoying thing about my return flight to the UK is that BA/BAA were too stupid to build a single OneWorld terminal at LHR… #
• …so my CX flight back is going to the entirely average Western airport that is T3. On the plus side, no transfers in horrible AMS or FRA. #
• The frustrating thing about being me is that I get quite a lot of pay and no sodding recognition – and don't really know how to fix that #
• Yes, I know the last tweet comes over as cockish – but it's properly true. I'd be a great business editor for any Oz paper… #
• …and'd take a paycut to do so – but none'd hire me, because despite the fact that I really do know all this shit, I've not got it in print #
• Cunt of the day > RT @PMMcGough National tragedy: promotion of B Bragg from obsolescent crooner to omniscient constitutional authority. #
• .@matgb "I'm the most coherent celeb on Facebook" "Yes, that's why I can't understand any of those silly twets you send me" #
• EXCLUSIVE: your mum and Nick Clegg have had a secret meeting. #
• Q: would you be willing to accept 5 years of Tory government, on the condition that Zac Goldsmith was crucified? I'd seriously consider. #
• OTOH, I live in Prison Island. So whilst still have a vote on Knifecrime Islan, that's precisely the sort of me-pleasing thing I'd go for. #
• RT @ChrisTMarsden: FPTP error 404: Government not found. Please reset your voting system to proportional representation and try again #
• Duh, Tories lie: RT @Quietzapple Odd how bullies who tried to run campaigns vs Brown 3 years ago & since now say he Must resign now. Untrue #
• RAGE, AGAINST THE LYING OF THE RIGHT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maISWZ8Tpsc (also, Dylan Thomas is the man, and this is pure beauty) #
• I've written a blogpost that I think is good, but I'm knda drunk. While sober tomorrow, I'll determine whether alcohol stimulates creativity #

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• my copy of Faith No More's best known single won't play any more #epicfail #
• i can't get funding for my remake of Spartacus #epicfail #
• i've been multiplying two mathematical constants both together and by the speed of light, to no avail #epicfail #
• I always think of the Auteurs' Tombstone when passing the Columbian Hotel. "We'll take the fucking building out, Baader Meinhof style", etc. #
• …and yes, I know Luke was actually referring to the Columbia Hotel in London… #
• I LOL'ed. I think this makes me a Bad Man RT @torontoveg: International Respect for Chickens Day: May 4 http://ow.ly/1Dfuj (via @sirrontail) #
• Back to work. Back to #ebz. Similar. http://fallenlondon.com/c/61087 #
• Yes, it's excellent -> RT @jamesgraham: This is very clever: http://bit.ly/dvP7QP #iagreewithnick #disobeymurdoch (via @bloggerheads) #
• Good election parody marketing from Ikea: http://bit.ly/bDuBFT – but have they really given Nick Clegg a photo of Hitler? #
• .@jamesup sorry, but someone's sent me: http://bit.ly/b3Ow24 #
• Ooops! Ladies, time to don your burkhas: http://j.mp/cfnDv0 #boobquake #angryGod #
• Irish politics WIN: RT @twentymajor RT @theddp: Bertie gives up his pension ! >> Now he just needs to give up breathing, the little cunt #
• Freemania just won at everything: http://bit.ly/9uwMjW #
• Getting annoyed by belief that Greece default has an impact on the UK. Greece's debt is (effectively) foreign-denominated. UK debt isn't. #
• Grizzled union types: it may be true that you can't trust the Lib Dems, but it's *definitely* true that you can't trust Labour… #
• Tory grassroots still hate gays (read the comments): http://bit.ly/akk0n3 – via @bloggerheads #
• I guess this might, erm, help conceal one's recent hand-based activities…? Weird: http://bit.ly/dj1Cd7 (via @Awl) #
• is about to head off to a Mass Debate. Fnarr. #
• Well, actually it's an absurdly elitist, embarrassingly pretentious debate, but that doesn't sound like a word for wanking so isn't funny #
• This might be my last message for a while – up early 2moz to be temporarily blinded. But at the end I'll have LASER EYES, so that'll rule… #
• RT @martinb9999: Dear Gordon, If You Meet a Bigot in the Street, *This* Is How You Respond http://post.ly/dmAW (via @chickyog) #
• RT @johannhari101: You know what's so sad about this? That woman said pensions & schools are better now in Rochdale #
• Last #ebz for a bit, I reckon… http://fallenlondon.com/c/62032 #
• I miss teh @ChrissieM too. Bad eyes. Bad urban geography :- #
• I can now peruse Twitter in very large print. But probably shouldn't. Eyes recovering well. If I'm lucky I'll even have some valium left. #
• …which'll be handy for my UK trip in August… #

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• I'm quite enjoying the ban – off to meet up with a friend who's supposed to be back in the UK, but instead is loafing in Sydney #
• has been the general manager of a large establishment, but still never would've thought they'd have put him in the Good Squad. #
• derives pathetic childish joy from listening to Armed Forces by the best Elvis. #
• until last week, i was delighted to be out of the uk for the election. but seriously, the least unpleasant party are winning in the polls. #
• Damon Albarn QOTD: did he call his third band The Good, The Bad & The Queen so they'd be next to Gorillaz whenever browsing the alphabet? #
• Only since I've been in Oz have I understood why the collective noun for crows is "a murder". Horrible, unearthly beasts… #
• I don't know why #davidcameronsexface is a thing, but since I've encountered the concept, y'all can too. #
• ONLINE. Properly. On a real computer and everything. Hell yeah. #
• Finding it deeply tedious watching people equate #globalfinancialsystemfail with #labourfail. #
• Seriously, how much of a partisan idiot do you have to be to believe that NuLab did anything other than follow general economic orthodoxy? #
• (clue: the correct answer is "lots", and I say that as someone who's never voted Labour in my life…) #
• I'm pretty sure the fact that crime in the UK has just massively fallen and everyone's ignored it is #nickcleggsfault http://bit.ly/bq9WUZ #
• This is properly scary: http://bit.ly/bofPNa – bets on either the Indy changes its angle or News Corp puts out nasty stuff on Lebedev? #
• Weird: http://bit.ly/cnevXb – sheer churnalism, but all the local press juniors I've met in years were vaguely liberal (via @darryl1974) #
• Apparently #toryfail types are upset about Sky comparing Nick Clegg to 'Ghandi'. Damn right, I'd say he was far closer to Martin Luther Kong #
• I know it's like saying "Mussolini was my favourite Axis leader", but Yelland was always my least despised Sun editor: http://bit.ly/cHiOdX #
• Haha, #torypressdesperation RT @unslugged DM poll: "Who would make the best Chancellor?" Options are Darling, Cable, and… Clarke. #
• You meant "relieved", right? -> RT @Anthropith Be afraid. This could happen on May 7th. http://bit.ly/cugX2H #
• Up far too late, now that the UK election run-up has actually become interesting again #nickcleggsfault #
• The markets, unlike halfwit Tories, don't think that a hung parliament would harm the #ukeconomy: http://dlvr.it/b7P3 #hangem #ge2010 #
• Surely the #Tory candidate Martin Coxall who's just been arrested for alleged assault isn't the same MC who trolls @libcon? #
• Fair clarification, and yes he is -> RT @Anthropith Important to note he's not a PPC. Martin Coxall is a council candidate and a twat. #
• If You Vote Lib Dem, You Will Kill Rebekah Brooks And James Murdoch's Careers http://bit.ly/9MEucv #nickcleggsfault #
• I'm assuming that @polfret's assault on John Prescott was probably #nickcleggsfault #
• Of course that's true @Anthropith – but reason it's getting Twitter interest is because he's a prominent online Tory defender #
• YES! Cassetteboy does the One Show: http://bit.ly/d69yLw (via @catdonn) #
• Nike drops stars who're guilty of crimes; doesn't drop stars who aren't. Hence, they're misogynists http://nyti.ms/9hDmdw #woollyliberalfail #
• The whole thing is leftie puritanism at its worst. *Raping* women is a terrible thing. *Drunkenly hitting on women in clubs* is not. #
• I do like bit.ly's customised ntyi.ms links, though. Presumably that's some kind of JV I've missed? #
• Google seems to have taken a dislike to me. From #1 for 'john band' and 'banditry' to page 2 and #3 respectively. Weird… #
• Given the subject & the ease of missing out reading little words like "on", I should've phrased this differently: http://bit.ly/92fVMc #
• Back online, so back on #ebz – that's the way it goes. http://fallenlondon.com/c/57780 #
• Haha, @qwghlm has updated the Daily Mail-o-matic for #ge2010 http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/ #
• 4AM. Ooops. Skype's a dangerous tool, a bit like George Osborne. #
• Party like it's 1999: http://youroldcrapwebsite.wordpress.com/ #
• Entertained that second-biggest podcast on iTunes UK is some teenage idiot's bedroom japery entitled Mock The Weak. Good work, illiterates. #
• Unpleasant man, unpleasant website: http://www.philwoolas.org.uk/ #
• Of course you've seen this already, but it's 100x better than Dawkins at making the same point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0W7Jbc_Vhw #
• Hungover, watching TV and playing #ebz- this is officially the life http://fallenlondon.com/c/58708 #
• Can you guess she's gone home to Ireland? RT @catdonn Waiting for bacon sarnies. Sitting with Dad who's flicking between football & snooker. #
• Me: "did you see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"? My dad: "yes, but I switched off because I was hoping it'd be a kung fu movie" #parentWIN #
• Anyone watch the #rebus TV shows? I love the books, but am worried the adaptation will lose their excellent, cynical-smart vibe #
• WhateverYouWantGuv fail: http://bit.ly/9F07HN #
• This evening, my tweets have been mostly homosexual. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRUPgyk5njQ #
• Nobody's ever going to answer my #rebus question, are they? The only thing people care about on Twitter is gay sex, weird deaths & Lib Dems #
• …which reminds me, I tried to explain Jeremy Thorpe to an Aussie the other day, and he didn't believe me: http://bit.ly/9zx5Sk #
• My first thought, 5-4-3-2-1-RAGE! RT @mrpower Up with the lark. Breadmaker on. Hens let out. Mug of tea. Now to peek at the news… #
• This song will be the second-most karaoke'd song today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmyEv4n8ERI #
• This song will be the first-most karaoke'd song today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNT7uZf7lew #
• This country will be my first-most favourite country forever. Well, unless they kick me out for being foreign. #
• Then again, only a country as cold and miserable as the UK could have done this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZwMs2fLoVE #
• Or this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Krvl7AEAs #
• Anyone know whether @mtuckerno10 is actually Jesse Armstrong, or an amusing faker/fakir? #
• Nobody, in history of Internet (or Google, which is close) has ever made the gag "You've had a lot of Dick Cheney, but you ain't had mine" #
• Let-downs: @MrEdByrne just endorsed Avatar; @herring1967 just endorsed Andy Parsons. You're brilliant people; why d'you respect this shite? #
• Twittered out. Night all. #
• This is excellent on immigration: http://bit.ly/b1gtU1 (via @bellagerens) #
• Cab Calloway, and #ebz, are enjoyable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33nTnawq6jk http://fallenlondon.com/c/59677 #
• In Soviet Russia, computer puns you -> RT @RedScareBot That's Czary! RT @johnb78 socialism & capitalism equal in terms of 'word-dirtyness' #

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