Category Archives: Gimpy internet nonsense

What I’ve been up to, week ending 2010-07-18

  • These guys reckon Australia is top per capita at CO2 emissions: http://bit.ly/6YSl0V @ozcjr #
  • And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom… RT @JuliaGillard We [are] shaping a better future, going forward not back. #
  • Great piece on the illiberal stupidity of banning the veil: http://nyti.ms/b62QYG (via @sunnysingh_sw6) #
  • Haha, Fresher's Week-tastic: http://bit.ly/cDsZj9 – yay representative democracy. #
  • Starbucks is moving into wine cafes, French-style: http://bit.ly/9KXb36 – interesting, but I wonder if American puritanism will tolerate it? #
  • Alan Johnson in "even more of a prick than Theresa May" shock: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/10592123.stm #
  • In "googling at work with the filter off" news, I have just discovered that Teresa May != Theresa May. #
  • Re Jackie O pregnancy, getting knocked up at the age of 81 when you've been dead for 16 years is something of a medical first @fictillius #
  • "I'm not motivated by the money" says emerging recording artist Coco Sumner: http://bit.ly/9xXBNe #perhapstheycouldhavepickedabetterexample #
  • If all Tory cuts involved axeing pointless quangos like the FSA, then I'd be 100% in favour: http://gu.com/p/2tahv/ip #
  • Convo from FB: "What're the chances of anyone being at work in Spain today? Fuck all I'd have thought…" "So it's a normal Monday then?" #
  • It seems odd that people are citing the BSE scandal as a reason not to axe the Food Standards Agency. #
  • After all, the most notable thing about the BSE scandal is that *we didn't all die, because it all turned out to be nonsense*… #
  • …not that this stops the daft buggers in the Australian Red Cross from *still* banning Brits from giving blood, though. #
  • "If the Daily Mail's against it, I'm for it" remains a good rule of thumb: http://bit.ly/9fo1w1 #
  • Sensible comment on CiF on the FSA's abolition: http://bit.ly/aFsxQ2 #
  • NEWSFLASH: if you're fat it's because you're greedy and/or lazy: the only thing that causes obesity is consuming more calories than you use. #
  • You may have a medical condition that makes you greedy (e.g. Prader-Willi) and/or lazy (e.g. depression), but that's a second-order point. #
  • So far, Iran seems to be doing better than Texas as "not executing probably innocent people following outrageously unfair show trials". #
  • Therefore, we should invade Texas and install a liberal regime #canwe #pleasecanwe #
  • Re Polanski: the people to blame are the US officials who failed to file the paperwork, not the Swiss judges who followed the law. #
  • I know that under the UK's agreement with the US, paperwork's unnecessary, but the Swiss have higher standards… #
  • Loving the Barefoot Bandit. The world needs more hilarious, exciting, *fun* criminality… #
  • CROWDSOURCE: bag of sweets & ride in my car to whoever finds someone saying McKinnon verdict is EVIL while also slating Polanski verdict… #
  • EPIC FAIL: RT @j_freedland I stand corrected on my observation re non-singing of national anthem by Spain team: no words to it since 1978. #
  • This is a great post, with a great title: http://bit.ly/d7rX6p #evilplanninglaws #evilericpickles #
  • This is dead dead good: http://icio.us/yj2hlj #ww2 #satire, reminiscent of http://bit.ly/GkrEq #
  • I recognise this isn't really news, but Christ, Janet Street-Porter is an idiot. It's nice to be 17,000km from her: http://bit.ly/cDcE1z #
  • If I was accused of a serious crime I hadn't done, and was instead offered a plea bargain that kept me out of jail, I'd probably take it. #
  • And if the judge then said "actually, sod the plea bargain, I'm going to send you to jail after all", I'd feel justifiably pissed off. #
  • I'm not, incidentally, defending Polanski-the-man, and I have nothing but contempt for people who think his art exempts him from punishment. #
  • (I also have nothing but contempt for people who think his personal vices devalue his art, of course…) #
  • However, I don't think protection of law should apply any less to people accused of sex offences than to people accused of other offences. #
  • Finally on Polanski, it also riles me that testimony that was never tested by the court is unquestioningly accepted as FACT. No, it ain't. #
  • NOTE TO IDIOTS: in neither England nor California is "statutory rape" a concept. Unless you shag a stone icon of Mrs Thatcher, which [etc] #
  • US in 'seriously pathetic' shock & awe: http://www.tumblr.com/xrkdc8igt (via @johnhalton) – yes, of course we underage-drank, but THE CHILDRENS!!! #
  • Worst understanding of sexual offences law EVAH -> RT @coxar @johnb78 sex with a minor is by definition non-consensual. Do you disagree? #
  • Good rule to remember: "The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true" #
  • Latest tweet from @BPGlobalPR (lame satire) rather gives the lie to "BP anger isn't just Americans being racist fucktards", doesn't it? #
  • Wow, I'm following @SarahPalinUSA. I must have been bloody drunk when I clicked that one… #
  • Incidentally, the fact that Twitter allows followees to DM followers without the ability to reply to the DM is an EPIC FAIL. #
  • If the French senate approves the ban on the burqa, anyone up for a mass burqa-wearing holiday to Paris? (via @beatniksalad) #
  • I did not know that residents of Phoenix, AZ, were referred to as Phoenicians. That's really rather cool. http://bit.ly/9gvoZ5 #
  • Apologies @bpglobalpr. I still think they're wrong about Megrahi, but not that they're mindless Brit-bashers. #
  • If you don't think Lockerbie was Iran's (evil) revenge for the US (evilly) murdering a plane of Iranian civilians, you're a silly person. #
  • Anyone who still has any belief in Megrahi's guilt should read this: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n18/gareth-peirce/the-framing-of-al-megrahi #
  • Fuck Tony Blair. Fuck him to death: http://ht.ly/2b810 (via @thabet1979) #
  • Ok, so the new UK government is just as petty and evil as the last one: http://bit.ly/aKiZpN – I'm retracting @chickyog's point-win… #
  • Best money-saving political suggestion EVAH: http://bit.ly/adNbK4 #crowdsourcingpolicyisareallystupididea #whodvethunkit #
  • In other news, don't copy and paste from Wiki, you cretins: http://bit.ly/bNeGhB (via @naomimc) #
  • Via Jamie, who's sadly only on web 1.0, this is aces: http://www.ctbto.org/specials/1945-1998-by-isao-hashimoto/ #
  • DAMN YOU, @fictillius!!! #
  • This is on the money, but terribly subbed. Almost like cost pressures compromised quality: http://bit.ly/9fHUp4 #yesIusedtoworkforMikeDanson #
  • Obvious, but needs saying: if you sympathise *at all in any way* with Raoul Moat, you are a worthless scumbag. #
  • I'm a fan of the word "c(ons)u(lta)nt". #
  • Who does more harm, woo-merchants or MI6? Not convinced the answer is necessarily the latter… @chickyog @dnotice #
  • The excellent @realdmitchell is right, of course: http://bit.ly/9ueufJ #pubs #
  • Either @sun has decided to destroy the world in fiery inferno form, or it's getting its temperature measures rather wrong at the moment… #
  • Wow, dressing as a sparkly-white version of Mrs T and quoting Kang and Kodos is, apparently, the way to win elections #ausvotes #twirling #
  • Inspiration for the PM's outfit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840B27zYfOk #ausvotes #
  • One Last Knob Song #changelovetoknobsongs #
  • I haz messed up. Not entirely sure how I haz messed up, but pretty certain that I haz messed up. #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2010-07-11

  • Great Jim Henley piece on 'high road' vs 'low road' policies (eg diplomacy vs war, or investigation vs torture): http://bit.ly/cokCqu #
  • Weird to watch people commenting on the Megrahi case as if he were the Lockerbie bomber. While, as a Libyan intelligence officer, he's… #
  • …doubtless a nasty piece of work, his (and, indeed, Libya's) lack of involvement in Lockerbie are both now almost certain. #
  • *Please* can we start a campaign to encourage the Daily Mail to go paywall-only? (concept via @gimpyblog…) #
  • Australia-press-wise, I'd be delighted if the News titles went paywall and the Fairfax ones stayed free. a) vile b) mediocre with good bits #
  • .@marshallw where's my fucking hoverboard? #
  • Fuck the WHAT? RT @sunny_hundal: The government is increasing the threshold required to dissolve Parliament from 55% to 2/3rds of all MPs #
  • Of course they're all straight; straight as a line. Joe Jackson FTW, Youtube him #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/141153 #
  • It's depressing that the UK'll have a referendum on 'completely uncontroversial ways of not being mad' that may still fail. #alternativevote #
  • Agree; worth preserving RT @sunny_hundal If Labour oppose AV now they'll just end up splitting their own base and looking very unprincipled. #
  • Reminded of this by a FB friend: Australia's finest son – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN002ejgC6I #
  • For the Coalition. LD supporters count as the $50: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcdtVD8X1-A #
  • Thanks to @mudlarklives for reminding me of Mr Lehrer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs is still the best piece of Cold War media ever #
  • Me-from-1995 likes the fact that in the future, I get to recommend satirical videos to @martincarr. That almost makes up for hoverboards. #
  • FIFA = morons. What possible commercial benefit do they gain from banning goal clips (ie 'more eyeballs for their sponsors') from YouTube? #
  • Struggling to work out whether this chocolate ad is awesome or a bit racially dodgy: http://mumbrella.com.au/hello-chocolate-lovers-29373 #
  • Today, like most Coalition days, is one of those days when I'm glad I live in Australia. Sorry, UK, you fucked up. #
  • Confused by @AdamBienkov here. The fact that you don't find nonce jokes funny doesn't stop them from being jokes: http://bit.ly/bQ4D71 #
  • Remembering 7/7 – very good Grauniad editorial: http://bit.ly/dbkxFd #
  • Wow, the "world's most complete and utter miserable dickhead" award has a strong new nominee: http://bit.ly/bJK6iS (via @dnotice) #
  • The Economist's former Charlemagne, now Bagehot, off to an excellent start on the BBC: http://bit.ly/9FMyAc #
  • Enjoying my brief status as minor Twitter celebrity. Not enjoying NSW's rugby form… #
  • Damn, this is good – an old dsquared post, grabbed from the memory archives by @stabprin: http://bit.ly/9WAKeD #
  • #ebz is less fun since I completed it, but that still won't stop me playing, dammit… http://fallenlondon.com/c/143763 #
  • Things I like about Australia, #1: @netbank aren't incompetent thieving bastards, unlike all UK banks. #
  • Things I like about Australia, #2: ordering my morning coffee with four adjectives. #
  • Random unexpected things I like about Australia, #1: @netbank aren't incompetent thieving bastards, unlike all UK banks. #
  • Random unexpected things I like about Australia, #2: ordering my morning coffee with four adjectives. #
  • Another US journalist sacked for not cravenly supporting Israel: http://yhoo.it/9Csr4f #freespeech #wossatthen? #
  • He might've turned out less of a dick, though -> RT @ebertchicago Rush Limbaugh wouldn't be where he is today if he hadn't been born white. #
  • Stock image FAIL: http://bit.ly/ck4HRe (wrong builder, wrong operator, wrong state, built 20 years apart, anything else wrong…?) #
  • Outrageous homophobic discrimination in Surry Hills ;-) – http://twitpic.com/23dlm9 #
  • Friday, woo. Four hours impending of boring and frustrating cut and paste, boo. #
  • Wow, Everton's away kit is impressive. #
  • One person here has a vuvuleza. Every time he blows it, 1000 fans boo him… #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2010-07-04

  • Martin Amis & Shed #swapwordinfilmwithshed #swapwordinfilmwithmartinamis #
  • The Unbearable Shed of Martin Amis #swapwordinfilmwithshed #swapwordinfilmwithmartinamis #
  • RT @anattendantlord Bring Me The Shed of Martin Amis #swapwordinfilmwithshed #swapwordinfilmwithmartinamis #
  • "Tottenham Hotspurtable"? – http://bit.ly/9Ws52e – #typosthatsoundfilthy #
  • "equivalent of defecating on the steps of the Vatican" – no, defecating on steps of Vatican would be a *good thing*: http://bit.ly/a9DLJK #
  • Ooops, I did just kill SPSS #toomanydatas #
  • Shorter Oborne: 'buy tinned food, shotguns; move to mountains. PS I AM NOT MAD": http://diigo.com/0bk0y (via @mrpower) #
  • The ironically named James Cleverly: http://bit.ly/bcFIDN #transportfail #
  • Eep, I've finished #ebz – they'd better add some new content soon… http://fallenlondon.com/c/133374 #
  • $8.99 is GBP5.20. That's 97p a bottle… http://twitpic.com/20ppgd #
  • Martin Amis #rappersbetterthansouljaboy #
  • Martin Amis, Thongs & Perfect Snogging #swapawordinafilmformartinamis #eww #
  • This fits pretty well with my existing stereotypes about neighbours who make noise complaints: http://bit.ly/bNMesi #
  • Throw Martin Amis From The Train #swapawordinafilmforMartinAmis #yesIknowIneedtostopnow #
  • Anyone know how to find out who first used a particular hashtag & when? #
  • 100 elderly Japanese men in sailor suits #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
  • A teenage marching band from Mississippi #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
  • A busload of Chinese people in bright green anoraks #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
  • A gridlock of confused out-of-towner coach drivers, carrying signs in various non-Latin-script languages #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
  • Several elderly moustachioed clipboard-wielding Sydneysiders, trying to bring order to the chaos #sightsfrommylunchbreak #
  • Lady on Castlereagh St says she was sent by Jehovah to talk to the sinners. #
  • I know He works in mysterious ways, but I'd've considered sending someone soberer and more continent. Nice Jewish boy maybe? #
  • Can't see how someone can say socialism's a worthless ideology that's never done any good, and yet still claim to be centre-left @jachartuk #
  • Great piece from Peter Singer on cheating in football: http://bit.ly/c3oQEw – why were Neuer's actions any different from a drug cheat's? #
  • SPSS really is made of FAIL. More crashes than Air France… #
  • The New Yorker's profile of David Mitchell was briefly perplexing: http://bit.ly/bz7qOZ #
  • Blimey, I'm in the Grauniad: http://bit.ly/abysIH – eggs and euromyths, obviously… #
  • If the awful song from the AAMI advert doesn't leave my brain shortly, I may be forced to remove it through the means of amateur surgery… #
  • I don't get the point of free public wifi in urban areas given 3G, but Railcorp apparently disagrees: http://bit.ly/9XyQgA (via @squeakaz) #
  • Public wifi was a fudge by USA-ans to get round their woeful 3G rollout. It's of no use in countries with functional 3G (ie anywhere else) #
  • AU's 25 daftest ad complaints: http://bit.ly/9MlfTH – I've long believed that ppl who complain to ASB/ASA shld automatically be certified… #
  • Copyright theft doesn't exist: the word is 'infringement'. Theft requires intention to deprive; copying doesn't deprive anyone of anything. #
  • After a brief absence, #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/136775 #
  • "You can tell by the way I use my walk…", etc, only gender-reversed: http://dlvr.it/2CwWH (via @bengoldacre) #
  • Shorter Alan Kohler: "Westminster system? Wossat? Also, the govt should be banned from doing things I don't like": http://bit.ly/bzh9OV #
  • Haha, this is made entirely of truth: http://bit.ly/aId4Vy <- The Freelancer Lunch Game. #
  • Sheer genius – Diageo pays off its pension fund deficit in whisky: http://bit.ly/djHTDo – someone tell the government! #
  • RT @PlugInShowbiz: Dear Confused Teen Girls: someone who sparkles and won't have sex with you isn't a vampire; it's a gay guy. #
  • #ebz off to Brisbane, but first… http://fallenlondon.com/c/138598 #
  • The 400 bus takes a remarkably long time to not go very far. It is, however, free, which makes it better than cab/train to airport… #
  • Perplexed Ryanair's in the news again with the same bullshit, illegal nonsense it PR'ed last year. Lazy journalists are lazy. #
  • As usual, Nick Cohen talks ignorant crap: http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=columnists&issue=1265 #

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Crooked Timber, an exception to general comment-thread-y rules of thumb

The rule of thumb is that on any blog where posts regularly attract more than about 50 comments, none of said comments will be worth reading due to the preponderance of idiot trolls, clueless newbies, and the generally hard-of-thinking.

At Crooked Timber, this is not the case. Viz:

Newbie CT commenter:

I wouldn’t much care to live in a world where you can’t eat animal (including marine) flesh

Regular CT commenter:

Shocking. The men of the naval infantry may be rough, tough, sometimes even brutal; but it goes too far to class them amongst the animals. Unless you mean to place all humans in that category, of course, which would be biologically correct. In that case, though, your typical marine is a poor choice for the table. Lots of meat there, yes, but it will be tough and stringy; made palatable, if at all, only through long slow braising.

Update – we have a new winner:

A system where the England coach gets to release three lions per game would increase the current entertainment value of England games, if not their match-win chances. (As players from other lands would be taught, you don’t need to faster than the lion, you only need to be faster than Terry, Heskey, etc…)

What I’ve been up to, week ending 2010-06-27

  • Snaptu is much uglier than Nokia Communities, but has the massive advantage that, erm, it works. #nokiafail #
  • Blimey. The Penrith result doesn't look good for the whole 'avoiding PM Abbott' thing. *prepares to be deported as undesirable alien* #
  • Half-relatedly, only realised today that Tony's originally a Pom. Sorry about that, guys. #
  • Even by XKCD standards, today's is exceptionally good: http://xkcd.com/756/ #
  • Wow, the US version of Inbetweeners will surely be terrible… http://bit.ly/d8JHg3 #
  • Make Your Own Cuts! – http://www.noshockdoctrine.org.uk/?page_id=185 #
  • RT @MrKimHambley WORLD CUP BREAKING NEWS England have been appointed a new coach.. it arrives Thursday to bring them home (via @lesanto) #
  • Brilliant. LGW's new owners are going to drop 'London' and adopt a new logo that looks like a low-rent hotel: http://bit.ly/b8YWU2 #
  • Tomorrow is my first day at work, so #ebz and bed is definitely a better call than footy. We'll see. http://fallenlondon.com/c/124748 #
  • In general, this is good advice for Yoofs – but I'm sceptical of 9.iv http://bit.ly/brFPaW #
  • Rep Ed Markey in "is prick" shock – 'worst internal estimate' != 'what you tell the press': http://tinyurl.com/24nhkxz #
  • Fucking hell. Outrageous fail. Pls can FIFA sack all refs, and hire some blind lunatics to randomly scatter cards about like confetti? #
  • Srsly, does anyone think that the World Cup would be worse, rather than better, if the refs were told to halve the number of cards awarded? #
  • Fuck, I get annoyed by people who think that Gary McKinnon did any harm (as opposed to 'breaking the law', which he certainly did do). #
  • He exposed that US military IT security was run by assclowns, and briefly interrupted some of said assclowns' timewasting. That is all. #
  • It's disappointing to see @libcon republishing shitty pro-US propaganda on the McKinnon case: http://bit.ly/bsxs88 #
  • I get irate when people slate airports for being big malls with runways. YES, OF COURSE THEY ARE. This makes a 5-hour connection bearable. #
  • 3rd world airports (except the newish Indian PFI ones) on the other hand, are not big malls with runways. This makes them utterly shit. #
  • Best thing ever: http://i.imgur.com/17Kkt.jpg – well, if you like MUDs. #
  • After last big Gulf of Mex oil spill, all rapidly went back to normal apart from a few angry hippies: http://bit.ly/dBJanL (via @thabet1979) #
  • Sad about Frank Sidebottom – his recent public statements seemed to imply he wasn't about to cark it. But he has :-( http://bit.ly/bQ3Tts #
  • First day of real work in six months. To my surprise, am still alive. #
  • Tickets booked to Melbourne and Brisbane – next up, Isle of Man and Manchester. Carbon footprinty woo. #
  • RT @unslugged: #budget update: Tax on Burberry increased to 85%, tweed reduced to 2%. #
  • Bedtime. #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/126117 #
  • Cocaine mixed with PCP and LSD #linesthatgetmemad #
  • Shame; I preferred it when he was floating -> RT @MrDavidOcelot Just trying out Gravity #
  • My football predictions so far have been disastrous, but tipping ENG 2 – SVN 1 (I've got my winnings from ALG game on SVN win or draw, tho') #
  • Christ. My friend's dad has just been remanded in prison for arson, after setting fire to the local courthouse. Fail, indeed. #
  • I'm running out of appendages to cross. C'mon England, don't fuck it up. #
  • Thank fuck for that. #
  • End of USA-ALG game is kinda sad – would've been aces to see ALG holding on, and sending off the captain was academic-but-unfair. #
  • W00t – my ISP has just doubled my quota gratis. Thanks, iiNet! #
  • Dispelling footy adrenaline with a spot of #ebz. Next, BED. http://fallenlondon.com/c/127667 #
  • NL, UK, Australia have best health systems; US worst. People who aren't mouth-breathing right-wing nutters unsurprised: http://bit.ly/bnUn4d #
  • So the next Federal election will be between two Poms for PM, then? Maybe I'll stand next time round… #
  • "Australians are disturbed when they see boats come to our shore unannounced" – senior citizens who live north of the Brisbane Line, maybe? #
  • Haha, this is aces: http://www.b3ta.com/board/10097448 #socialmediaexperts #
  • Overheard bloke "…is 6 times the speed of sound". American girl: "wow, that's almost the speed of light!" *fetches cluebat* #
  • Quick #ebz before going out… http://fallenlondon.com/c/130814 #
  • #ebz We can't get enough gas down here, see. So you know what we burn for heat? … sinners. http://fallenlondon.com/c/131982 #
  • Bemused by opposition to English tests for immigrants. We should let in everyone who speaks English – but nobody who can't be bothered to. #
  • Dear the next person to post a bit.ly-ed Times link without warning that clicking it is useless: you're a cunt. #
  • #Worldcup prediction: #eng 1-0 #ger #
  • When the ref gets death threats from England fans, he'll fucking deserve them. #
  • Craig Foster: "before you call for video ref, how about a 2nd ref who can see?" <- yes, or you could not allow blind people to be refs. #
  • To 'could've been 3-0 types' – yes, *if James hadn't saved a goal and Lampard scored one*. But they did. Ref fail is different from ENG fail #
  • FAIL. Oh well. Go #ENG. More realistically, go #MEX so I don't have to support Germany in the next game… #
  • I think we can all agree, a well-deserved 4-2 victory to Germany. #
  • Also, that was a sodding good game, one of the best in the tournament so far. Unlike the #bra-#por dullfest. #
  • Go #mex. #asif #itdbenicethoughwouldntit #
  • #ger played very well; #eng played far better than #usa or #gha. But for utter #alg fail, we'd be in last eight. And then out, I'll grant. #
  • RT @timjana: Let's challenge the Germans in Cricket then! #

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What I’ve been up to, week ending 2010-06-20

  • Off to the Belgian Beer Cafe. Belgian beer FTW. #
  • No Belgian beer available, so drank Australian beer as well. Which is nearly as good. Now #ebz o'clock http://fallenlondon.com/c/115119 #
  • RT @feral_pigeon peck at rob green's humble pie #
  • Amusing spammers are OK by me: RT @diamondauction But for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. #
  • Part of why I quit > RT @adambanksdotcom Dear media. When you advertise for an "experienced intern", you are now taking the piss @karasimsek #
  • Did anyone really think 'dumb Yanks' at 'USA wins 1-1'? Background v/@qwghlm is interesting http://bit.ly/aCKblg but joke is obvious anyway #
  • Cross about Tim Cahill's completely undeserved red card, having realised he'll miss #gha and so #aus will probably lose group. #hangtheref #
  • Most interesting match to watch so far, and the only one where the two teams abbreviate to palindromes #ned #den #
  • Punchline follows: RT @amyvernon How do you measure the ROI with geolocation. #twtrconure #
  • RT @johnb78 @AmyVernon with geolocation from 51.43ºN to 55.38ºN north-south, and 6.01°W to 10.27°W east-west. Hope this helps… #
  • If we're applying transitivity, and excluding hari-kiri, then based on #eng-#Jpn friendly and #jpn-#cmr fail, #eng have no chance. #
  • See also, my last tweet about Japan's insipid play. Maybe #eng have a chance > RT @thejimsmith Well, that'll show *me*, won't it? #worldcup #
  • Have any other transport geeks ever accidentally inspired pub confusion by asking for a pint of Bom-Bar-Di-Eh? #
  • "Honda and Matsui need to dominate". Luckily, Kawasaki and Sony are happy to play second fiddle. #worldcup #
  • The Japanese did win. According to my voodoo science, that implies England will get to the quarter-finals. #
  • So Google Calendar is broken in Chrome – I've had to fire up Safari to use it. #epicgooglefail #
  • RT @mpesce Apparently teh Fail Whale is one of the official logos of teh Whurled Cup… #
  • This is a masterpiece of the 'shorter' genre – Melanie Phillips' latest book, digested: http://is.gd/cPl7h (via @dnotice) #
  • Android sales now level with iPhone: http://bit.ly/9W68qi – also analysts *still* saying 'mcommerce works in Japan so will work elsewhere'. #
  • Coincidentally, this is exactly what they were saying when I worked in technology news in 2000-2002… #
  • RT @wallaceme: Ironically, people complaining about Vuvuzelas has now become an endless drone in the background. (via @mrpower) #
  • I don't want to be a neo-colonial dick, but why does every country apart from Ivory Coast say its name in either local or English? #
  • I mean, if the residents of said venue were to call it by its African name, then fair play, but why on earth do they insist on #civ? #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #thomashardy #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #charlesdickens #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #kingleyamis #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #martinamis #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #everyRussianauthor #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #everyIrishauthor #exceptFlannOBrienwhosgreatfun #
  • People are bastards and life is shit #sixwordnovels #ohandsamuelbeckett #not #
  • #allnightfreeboozefail – and other seven word Twitter taglines. #
  • Nearly bed, but #ebz first, obviously. http://fallenlondon.com/c/116869 #
  • Ignorant Brit alert: I'm actually shocked that it's only now we've admitted that #bloodysunday was a horrific, sick massacre of civilians #
  • Is news basically like Premiership football and professionally valuable information, or is it basically not? #isrupertmurdochanidiot #
  • Hehe: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/15comicsans.html #
  • Best Student Activity Ever: http://bit.ly/dlROCH (via @iamtef) #
  • Enjoying the #Tooheys adverts. "Changing a lightbulb for your nan, while she's in the bath, with her boyfriend", indeed… #
  • So today I didn't play any #ebz until 3pm, how restrained of me… http://fallenlondon.com/c/119501 #
  • My hopes for tonight: #ger (for #aus's sake), #svk (both generally, and for #eng's sake), and #eng (duh). #
  • If #ger can beat #srb 5-0 or more, that'd be particularly good. #
  • You misspelt 'funniest' -> RT @jgrindal http://imdb.to/aB7D1 – Saddest IMDB page ever (via @BigGibb) #
  • I've got a friend whose only listed IMDB role is as a dead child; sadly their character had a name so the entry doesn't work quite so well. #
  • I hope they upgrade #ebz soon, I've almost reached the level cap… http://fallenlondon.com/c/120933 #
  • Just put a bet on for #alg win or draw tonight – so either #eng win, or I get a wodge of cash to drown my sorrows… #
  • I should also point out that the bet in question is from a bookies' "One Free Bet On World Cup!" email, rather than my own cash money… #
  • I'm anti-death-penalty, but if people are going to have it, firing squads are both relatively painless and appropriately savage. #
  • Lethal injection's a cop-out – you're pretending that ending someone's life is a medical procedure, not a brutal-but-necessary (IYO) act. #
  • Anyone ever notice that you can't spell 'crucifiction' without 'fiction'? Well, as long as you spell the first word a bit incorrectly. #
  • This is a good, obvious, & *shouldn't be necessary*, & *one cries that it is in 2010* piece from Laurie re abortion – http://bit.ly/d3Q3m0 #
  • Specifically, you forget as middle-class educated grownup that whilst abortion is available on demand for you, that isn't what the law says. #
  • So my mum killed herself from post-natal depression: http://bit.ly/drtGlv – and even she would have given this lady a kick in the fanny. #
  • Bigoted moron of the week: http://is.gd/cUO41 (via @anattendantlord) #
  • Anyone know why #usa are listed above #eng in Group C, even though we've the same points and the same goal difference? #
  • Halfway up the mountains. No hillbilly action as yet… #
  • Thanks to @mudlarklives @mjturner1975 @griefoftwats @jonniemarbles for alleviating my footy ignorance. Although @pchallinor made me laugh. #
  • RT @siwhite0: England team visit orphanage in Soweto. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope" said Mbutto aged 6. #
  • Loving the idiots abusing @dianainheaven. Do follow. #
  • Horne & Corden #horrorsketchshows #
  • A delightful weekend in the country. Now, RSS catchup and #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/123571 #
  • This is some fun, semi-pointful number-crunching: http://bit.ly/d7g5SR #
  • GO #NZL! Aces. Yes, I know it won't last, etc. #
  • This is brilliant – BP and the Axis of Evil http://ht.ly/20QCB (saw on RSS, reminded to Tweet by @thabet1979) #
  • Unsurprising but disappointing equaliser. #nzl 2-1 would be lovely but unlikely; do prove me wrong, the All-Whites… #
  • 1x offside goal, 1x dodgy penalty. I hope #nzl at least hold #ita to a draw, since that's what's deserved so far… #
  • Helen Keller -> RT @manipillai Who is the ref in this game? #nzl #ITA #
  • While England may be very very tenuously gripping to the off-chance of qualifying, nonetheless haha France hahahahahaha! #lagreve #
  • Oh fuck. I was following @sarahpalinusa as a @dianainheaven jolly parody. Clicked link, and realised was her verified account. #theendtimes #
  • Just found out Dermot O'Leary is on Twitter. For 2 seconds, I thought "yay, D O'L is on Twitter". Then I thought, "oh wait, D O'L is a dick" #
  • OK, so nearly everyone non-Maori in NZ is of British descent, right? So we could hire their keeper…? #
  • CLUE: don't. RT @LDN How to queue for Wimbledon tickets http://bit.ly/cdTPFR #
  • GO NZ! Absolutely best result of the World Cup so far. #
  • On #eng: @herring1967's point "the team were all playing like they'd all found out they were fucking each other's wives" has some relevance #
  • OK, so 'Toby Young is a dick' aside (TRUE), is there any difference between ConDem 'Free Schools' and Labour's 'Academies'? #

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Best comment evah

From the Awl, which you should read anyway, this short article:

“A bolt of lightning struck the ship capturing oil from the blown-out BP well in the Gulf of Mexico on Tuesday, igniting a fire that halted containment efforts in another setback for the embattled company in its nearly two-month struggle to stop the spill, the company said.” BP expects to resume operations later this afternoon, unless it is confronted by boils, locusts, lice and darkness, which it almost certainly will be.

…was followed by:

As a firstborn son I am very uncomfortable with this.

Good work, commenter HiredGoons. You win the Internets.