A: this is the right thing for a Saturday evening:
When I grow up, I wouldn’t object to being an incredibly rich, disgraced, highly influential, not-proven-guilty-of-fraud Wall Street figure and would-be press baron.
However, unlike Henry Blodget, I don’t think I’d devote a day’s worth of output to slating other financial commentators for being insufficiently productive, hard-working, etc. Worrying about the productivity of people who actually work for you is stressful enough – and besides, I’d want to leave at least eight waking hours a day outside of work to enjoy my enormous pile of ill-gotten gains.
(I am, however, also a little jealous of Felix Salmon. If any multinational news organisations want to pay me a decent-ish New York salary to tweet and blog about finance and the economy all day, then you know where to find me…)
Someone found the blog yesterday by Googling for “my right testicle is as big as a kiwi”. I hope the story they read had the desired effect – but just to reiterate, if your right testicle is as big as a kiwi, then go see a goddamn doctor RIGHT NOW. Indeed, even if it’s only as big as a kiwi fruit, go see a goddamn doctor right now.
In other news, Sydney remains excellent. The drive to attract freelance work continues, and I’ve poshed up my personal site as part of the hunting process. Which has taught me that CSS is fun when you get to know it (this is the first website I’ve built without using tables, which makes me geekily happy), and that PHP was invented by the Devil (possibly as a way of making ASP seem fun, sensible and intuitive by comparison).
Incidentally, if you want to waste time on online things that are more interesting and less frustrating than PHP, then I’d thoroughly recommend Only Connect and Echo Bazaar. The former will steal your lunchtime; the latter will steal your life.
In explaining how he avoided falling into the common liberal trap of supporting the Iraq war, Dan Davies listed the maxim “Good ideas do not need lots of lies told about them in order to gain public acceptance“. The fact that all the main proponents of the Iraq war were lying like rugs about WMDs inherently casts doubt on the case for war, even if you believe that a war for regime change would have been justifiable in its own right.
I was reminded of this when looking at the website for the Robin Hood Tax campaign (the Robin Hood Tax is the new, nauseatingly cute, name for the Tobin Tax on financial transactions):
The Robin Hood Tax will not impact on personal banking or on retail banking. That’s because it targets a distinct area of bank operations – high-frequency large-volume trading, undertaken by financial institutions in the ‘casino economy’. If you change money to go on holiday, send remittances abroad, invest in a pension fund or take out a mortgage, you will not be affected by this tiny tax.
The Robin Hood Tax consists of a levy on:
financial assets such as stocks, bonds and foreign exchange, traded both physically and as derivatives (options, forwards, futures and swaps).
Hence, any money you change (whether for a holiday or for remittances) and any investments that your pension fund makes will, very obviously, be taxed under it. The tax will, definitely have a negative impact on ‘good’, non-casino-y transactions like people buying shares in companies to generate income for their retirement, or companies converting euros from their export sales into pounds.
This doesn’t, in and of itself, make the Robin Hood Tax a bad idea. That negative impact could well be outweighed by the benefits of the revenue raised and of dampening the speculative excesses of the global financial system (I’m sceptical of the latter: we all know with each successive crisis the speculative excesses of the GFS turn out to be concentrated in areas that aren’t regulated or taxed or indeed understood. But that’s for another day).
But the tax’s proponents are simply lying that the negative consequences for the real economy simply don’t exist, rather than acknowledging them and saying that the benefits are larger. And that definitely triggers my Iraq filter.
- Sarcasm aside, seems fair skills-wise -> RT @davecoleDOTorg
Salary for Palace of Westminster lift attendant: £17277 Salary for MP: £64766 #
- Sitting on world's most excellent view-featuring balcony. Shortly off to remote island for camel rides. Later will fish for oysters. Oh yeah #
- Any occasion that involves A. Gilligan being roundly told to get lost is delightful. Hence, this is delightful: http://bit.ly/9kR61i #
- This I like: http://twitpic.com/18t8xh #
- Great and sad news – the Koala is moving on: http://goodaftermornings.blogspot.com/ #
- RT @bloggerheads: David Cameron's head on a stick http://bit.ly/9ihbJd now charting. Please 'favourite' or rate it now to kick it up further #
- Tasmania is beautiful. Like Wales, but with sunshine. Quick #ebz before bed, then another day of outdoors http://fallenlondon.com/c/35803 #
- RT @timoreilly the end of publishing as we know it. http://bit.ly/atqhR9 Watch to the end (via @bengoldacre) #
- Superb piece from @Heresy_Corner on His Holiness The Pope (spoiler: she's not a big fan) – http://bit.ly/aKOQt0 #
- This is ace. If you had any spare time, you now don't: http://www.bbc.co.uk/onlyconnect/quiz/ #
- What % of people opposing lack of MP scrutiny of copyright bill were also outraged by Tories forcing MP scrutiny of 3rd world debt bill…? #
- (I support anti-vulture plans and oppose copyright plans, but that shouldn't affect one's views on procedure…) #
- We found this chap's card in a café in Cygnet, TA – he's perhaps the most promising new author of a generation: http://bit.ly/c7R6WD #
- This is not my country, but The Editors are right: http://bit.ly/avd6ki – see also, Anyone Who Doesn't Think Keeping The Tories Out Matters #
- Actually, I'd go further than that. Anyone who publicly criticises Labour or the LDs over the next 3 months is pro-Tory, and can piss off #
- I'm not a Labour supporter, but we have an FPTP election pending, and in a Lab/Tory marginal anyone with a soul should vote Lab. #
- In other consituencies vote for meh, whoever, but anyone who's even slightly progressive/not evil should fucking do this shit #
- Task for next week: work out which crook is paying these crooks to publish this bullshit – http://bit.ly/azgot9 – reads rather like Spiked #
- Much as I love the Tube and hate the Tories, closing pointless ticket offices now that everyone has Oyster is actually Not All That Bad… #
- …alternative is cutting services, cutting refurbs, cutting new trains, raising fares, all of which are rather worse. #
- For any halfwits thinking of voting Tory because of Labour illiberalism – http://bit.ly/cXoGBv – send-14-year-olds-to-jail-for-shagging-w00t #
- #ebz Back from Tassie's wild west coast, into the worlds of Internet reception http://fallenlondon.com/c/37559 #
- is hung over. Yes, I know it's 7:20pm here. This doesn't make me happy either. #
- Linkous and now Chilton: Not a good month for depressive substance-fond jangly indie types. Hope someone's keeping an eye on Bobby Gillespie #
- I wonder how much "we won't hang your guys" affected the price RTZ paid…? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8575737.stm #
- Paralympic Cricket Joke: "was that an LBW?" "Well, not technically, but it did hit the stumps…" #
- All iPhone apps are gay, so not sure what the issue is here -> RT @MayorWatch New article: Tourism bosses unveil Gay London iPhone app #
- RT @slideshowbrain
I'll follow @Patrick_Myles FF's because I trust his brain – Hello @PeterDixie @lilmamisayo @timabrahams @Dion_Star #
- Steve Hodder-Watt is an arse; whilst I love my new adopted country, its willingness to appease his kind is distressing: http://bit.ly/9DK7Xm #
- ("his kind" refers to litigious, humourless pro-censorship gits of any race, religion or creed, obviously) #
- This is good, from young Mr Hari – http://bit.ly/d1HH3D – also applies to my Enyclopedia Dramatica comment from earlier #
- This doctor deserves 10,000 medals for EXCELLENT SKILLS: http://bit.ly/9lCW11 #
- #ebz Back in civilisation, & my wireless modem works. Well, Hobart Airport, which is almost civilisation http://fallenlondon.com/c/38131 #
- Hurrah for juries: http://bit.ly/bQ1qg0 #
- Christing hell, in a normal banana republic, media sucks balls of the government, not the assholes trying to take over: http://bit.ly/bwBWBv #
- Venezuela = obvious exception – 1 of the things which makes anyone w/any decency feel some affection for maniac-in-charge #obviousparallels #
- I love reading @diamondgeezer, but I hate (not solely related to him) this kind of paranoid lunacy http://bit.ly/dBdUYQ #
- Yes, of course someone who gives a shit can steal your medical records. But unless you're actually Michael Jackson, nobody does. #
- I think this is supposed to be funny and on S Singh's side, but both are purely based on contextual clues not the text: http://bit.ly/9wCGQ4 #
- This isn't like my last Clarkson link – most of piece is nonsense – but final para 100% accurate: http://bit.ly/aG4tOF #campBAcabincrewrule #
- Safari really is the most annoying browser ever. So glad I've got Chrome for day-to-day and Firefox for anything else. Would rather use IE7 #
- If your name's Slaughter, probably best not get involved in the healthcare debate. The Slaughter Solution is a bit of a branding fail… #
- Why's the BBC running a non-story about petty vandalism on its international news front page? http://bit.ly/91A5ZA #
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…but I’m told this is the unofficial Aussie national anthem:
In line with the whole “theme song for your blog” meme, I’ve come up with two. One for excellence’s sake:
…and for old times’ sake:
- Halifax UK are the most annoying bank, out of all banks. "Try to transfer money to another UK account from abroad -> suspend account" – garr #
- Delighted that the best film I've seen in the cinema in about five years won at the Hoscars, much as that reflects my cinema-going #
- Coke Zero is following me. Yes, I like Coke Zero. Indeed, I drank it with lunch today. No, I'm not interested in Coke Zero's marketing feed. #
- (yeah, as if there's anyone following me who doesn't already follow @chickyog – BTW, if there is, do) #
- Eurostar's Facebook says "This year has seen the best snow on the alps for the last 10 years, why not take the ski train" *puts hand up* #
- Steve Bell genius, as always: http://bit.ly/9i9cOQ (via @BeauBodOr) #
- CROWDSOURCING: I'm considering flying to Singapore for cut-price laser eye surgery. Is this a really bad idea? #
- This is excellent; I love the PIA/Switzerland poster -> RT @Patrick_Myles Graphic design blog and vintage archive http://grainedit.com/ #
- #ebz A healthy, balanced day: beach, erudite debate, *and* buggering about on the Internet http://fallenlondon.com/c/32097 #
- As far as characters to lead the UK to recovery go, how about http://bit.ly/9vs1Hl ? #
- "It must be a middle class recession – the Job Centre have just launched an iPhone app." http://bit.ly/dCkFe7 (via @touchstoneblog) #
- Even if you *actually see someone carrying a bomb*, you're still a despicable bastard if you call this Stasi-line: http://bit.ly/bftxia #
- Up far too late, #ebz -ing myself to sleep http://fallenlondon.com/c/32774 #
- This crazy screed highlights why many women refuse to identify as feminists: not the philosophy, but the company http://bit.ly/cQwqox #
- The piece being attacked is badly written sub-hipster, but its basic message is Don't Treat Women Like Shit. Taking offence proves insanity #
- I'm not normally on big corporations' side in libel suits, but I hope Facebook CRUSHES THE DAILY MAIL'S LYING ARSE: http://bit.ly/ciw1Fz #
- RT @malbonster New post by me on the moral outrage/panic caused by Chatroulette http://bit.ly/cBZNKX (via @nathanmcdonald) #
- #ebz Christ, I'm hungover. No dinner always a mistake. http://fallenlondon.com/c/33482 #
- This is rubbish: http://bit.ly/9OWROZ – Griffin an odious cunt, but also a major political figure & interviewing him the right thing to do #
- This, on the other hand, is excellent: http://bit.ly/apuHSE #
- I was feeling a bit down (no reason, just late-night-meh); now I'm feeling thoroughly happy: http://www.b3ta.com/links/Boobies_Kittens #
- This is rather delightful: http://www.howdoeshomeopathywork.com/ #
- Advertising policy duly updated, to reflect the fact that @JamesonCultFilmClub is in no way responsible for spamming DG. #
- Stupidest film review EVAH: http://bit.ly/cUqZMJ – claims Hurt Locker a movie which ignores harm Iraq war has unleashed on civilians… #
- Halfwit New York legislator plans to ban the sale of *all food*: http://bit.ly/diNinH #
- I wonder if Mr E really believes the press should face no sanctions at all for lying – http://bit.ly/bQZMnV – or just lying about H Chavez? #
- The only thing that annoys me more than libel law is its idiot defenders. "What if someone called you a paedo" – well, I'd ignore them, duh #
- #ebz The manager of the Hotel offers free rooms to guests of particular note or interest. He irritably… http://fallenlondon.com/c/34008 #
- Not very impressed by @leftfootfwd's report attacking LD plans to raise tax allowance – see my comment at http://bit.ly/bCo4V4 #
- Weird fact: Zimbabwe and Nigeria both have higher Internet penetration than South Africa: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8552410.stm #
- Distasteful sure, but harm done? Really? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/8564954.stm #
- Quality, from M Tucker: http://bit.ly/brdNDN #
- #2022 #FindPeopleInMyPostcode (was #N19 until January…) #
- #oddquestions I wonder if you can't hashtag a number or whether you can't hashtag at the beginning of a tweet #2022 #
- I no longer wonder. #
- I hate RTing @iaindale, but this is fair -> Will @denismacshane and leftist bloggers now boycott the Guardian too? http://bit.ly/aXSDYt #
- I guess "only ppl who're cleverer than Nick Griffin shld be allowed to interview Nick Griffin" is a coherent principle that could save us… #
- Semi-literate hipster tool from the other day shows up and makes reasonable points; DMHFHF miss them: http://tinyurl.com/ #
- (when creepy right-wing old men refer to men as "men" and women as "girls", it's bad; Foster v clearly someone who'd refer to men as "boys") #
- Terry & Julie utterly screwed. Well, unless they have watches and/or mobiles: http://tweetphoto.com/14237447 (via @tellingtales) #
- I ought to make clear, I strongly believe Iain Dale's a nasty piece of work. But also that Griffin is legit figure to interview for any mag #
- Good that Toyota US not based in Michigan: in CA there's *some* chance they'll escape crucified for trumped-up charges http://bit.ly/csxQ3T #
- "If Labour won again, bond yields are likely to rise quite quickly by about 0.5% to 1%" http://is.gd/atPag #insaneTorybeliefs #
- Bedtime. Person of the day: Charles Todd – without him, you (non-Aus people) wouldn't be reading this rubbish: http://bit.ly/9SHNYn #
- Time for 1 link: nasty combo of upper-caste Indian puritanism & bien-pensant BBC puritanism, vs India's funnest state: http://bit.ly/baTWJi #
- Just in case you'd forgotten the Tories are a nasty bunch of bastards: http://bit.ly/dA9SCg #
- #ebz or shopping? Hmm, tough one… http://fallenlondon.com/c/34546 #
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When it comes to blog promotions, Diamond Geezer is a purist. I’m not.
If anyone fancies sending me a bottle of Jameson’s in exchange for a blogpost, it goes live the minute the grog arrives (and, using my Viral Drinks Marketing Analysis Skills, there is absolutely no way the grog being marketed in DG’s post is anything other than Jameson’s).
Purveyors of random links, online bingo and stationery are all still welcome to piss right off.
Update: I’m told by a reliable source that my Viral Drinks Marketing Analysis Skills have failed, that the grog being marketed absolutely isn’t Jameson’s, and that their viral marketing skills are way superior. I’m happy to admit and reiterate the first two points. I still don’t believe the point about the superior marketing, primarily because they haven’t offered me a free bottle of grog yet…
One of the things that I very much like about moving to Australia is that, for all its stereotyping as backward, the country has almost completely moved over to sane units of measurement. People talk about their weight in kilos, they drive kilometres, energy on drinks cans is stated in joules. Stupid measurements are a thing of the past, rather than having been retained to appease fogeys and xenophobic bigots.
For all my disapproval of democracy, I’d certainly vote for any party that promised to finish and enforce metrication in the UK. Particularly if the enforcement was on pain of death (wouldn’t it have been lovely had the Metric Martyrs [*] actually been burned at the stake?)
[*] or “swindlers who refused to display their goods’ correct prices”, as they should more accurately be called.