Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-05-31

  • Not enjoying return to work. Feel utterly poleaxed, even though Monday was a day of great sobriety and moderation. #
  • “What’s *like* Butt Hole but slightly more polite?” “I know, ‘Archer’!” http://bit.ly/UtterlyButterly #
  • @antonvowl @billybragg bloody hell, that’s some scary voodoo you’ve got there #
  • Germans in ‘even more terrifyingly insane than us’ award: http://tinyurl.com/rcgfhd #
  • Early night. Tour of half-built railway line in the morning. Good follow-up to silly weekend. #
  • @bloggerheads shame Izzard didn’t mention that best way to keep #thebnparetwats out is voting green http://tinyurl.com/rxsxnm #
  • I wwonder if ppl who thought falling £/$ rates = OMG WE’RE FUXXORED now think we’re in a new age of milk and honey http://tinyurl.com/pltrl9 #
  • Just overheard in office: “the bad news is you’re sacked, the good news is not yet so get on with your work” #
  • I *think* it was a joke #
  • “Banking industry now held in such contempt customers feel safer handing money to people who are openly Spanish” http://tinyurl.com/rb9kc5 #
  • I now have 5 hours of recurring-forever meetings scheduled every single Monday, starting at 9AM. Woo. #
  • @mrpower wow, that’s some of the silliest nonsense I’ve ever read, even by US right-wing-blog standards never mind MSM in reply to mrpower #
  • Surely this should be Comic Sans? http://xkcd.com/590/ #
  • @antonvowl indeed. Hence, if I wanted to rile a typography lover, I’d use Comic Sans rather than Papyrus… #
  • Quality old joke repurposing: RT @chickyog Bill Cash: ‘my flat was incredibly small.’ Yeah, and so’s my violin, mate. #
  • @catdonnelly insert ‘careless wispa’ gag #
  • RT @antonvowl Dear Iain Dale, I think Nadine Dorries is a twat. This doesn’t mean I think you’re a twat. But as it happens, I do. #
  • I totally did this, and it totally worked: http://tinyurl.com/q834on #
  • Grass “greener on other side”: http://tinyurl.com/my9prx #
  • “As you all know I’m a big fan of 70s prog/synth rock soundtracks to italian horror movies” is not a good way to begin an email #
  • I bought some trendy East German sneakers on ebay. Bastards reported me to the Stasi #
  • A guide to right-wing thought – RT @dnotice: Why the X hate the Y http://is.gd/Kwiz #
  • arr. too hungover. can you get new heads on eBay? #
  • @dnotice I’ve already got one of those! I want an unshrunken, unpickled, thoroughly hydrated one… #

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Longer Fraser Nelson

What the ignorant paranoiac says:

The threat [of Terribly Bad Things if the Tories don’t abolish all public services, taxes, etc] is abstract, but needs to be made real.

What this means:

There isn’t actually a disastrous crisis that means we’ll need to abolish all public services, taxes, etc, but if we lie that there is one then we might get away with doing so anyway.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-05-24

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Meme meme meme

Freemania has done tagged me with a meme: 7 things I love. Not in order, and probably not accurate.

1) intelligent girl-pop. c.f.

2) Chris Morris. Explanation required? Go elsewhere.

3) London. Everything about London. Name a thing you don’t like about London and I’ll like it. Well, apart from fiver-a-mile cab fares.

4) Writing. Oh come on, duh.

5) Falling asleep with a woman I love already asleep on my chest, or failing that shoulder. Former not for a while, latter recent-er. Not particularly loving current carefree bachelor existence, in all honesty.

6) Not being poor. Which probably translates, certainly by global standards and maybe even UK standards, as ‘being fairly rich’. Knowing that if even if I get laid off in the downturn/recession/depression/apocalypse and can’t get a job, I’ve saved enough money in the bank to pay a good few years’ rent. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never spent more than gbp900 on anything at all – but do at least lead a fairly not-worrying-about-how-much-that’ll-cost life.

7) Puerile humour. ‘Fox in a box’. Viz. I suppose Chris Morris predicted that, but any bad pun or bad tastery (possibly aside from bad tastery that’s vindictively aimed at a non-loathsome group) wins my favour.

I don’t do re-tagging, but if I did, it’d probably be the best re-tagging in the world.

The idle musings of John B