Overall, we know about as much about what’s going on as when as we did when I woke up eight hours ago.
Things we do know: the Lib Dems got screwed, probably by the sustained 2-week barrage of media lies about them.
Troll-like ex-home secretary Charles Clarke lost his seat, which is delightful.
Pro-science campaigner and all-round good egg Evan Harris lost his seat, which is a terrible shame (bad work, Oxford people).
And although the Tories have cleaned up in the Home Counties and the Midlands, Labour have mostly held London.
The Tories are trying to subvert the constitutional convention that the sitting PM has the first right to try and form a parliament. This makes them scumbags, and the complete and utter opposite of anything that might be described as ‘conservative’.
Finally, the appalling Hazel Blears kept her seat in Salford (where they weigh the Labour vote) albeit with a 10% swing to the Lib Dems, so I don’t have to drink a bottle of Scotch and streak through Sydney. Which is probably just as well.
(more, less coherent analysis at Johnb78).
Update: excellently, we have our first Green MP, Caroline Lucas in Brighton Pavillion. Revoltingly, Zac Goldsmith has won Richmond Park. If your feelings towards Zac Goldsmith include anything other than disgust and hatred, there is something wrong with you.