I’m sure you remember Canadian freak-show queen Celine Dion, and her domination of the 1990s power ballad world. And you most likely remember her utterly ridiculous, pomp-musical-rock-tastic career pinnacle, It’s All Coming Back To Me Now:
It’s only just occurred to me, however, that a couple of lines from this song suggest deeply disturbing things about Ms Dion’s past [*]:
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
At the time the song came out, heterosexual anal sex had only just been legalised in the UK, so there was much ‘fnarr’-ing among the teenage boy community at this information.
On reflection, our speculations were altogether too tame. Ms Dion isn’t simply claiming that there were nights of endless pleasure that were banned by the laws of any specific jurisdiction – she’s claiming that whatever activities she engaged in were considered illegal by every single code of laws in force in the world at the time she first performed the song.
Anything that was legal in Germany at the time is ruled out, meaning that the activities referred to can’t solely concern consenting adults (unless they involved bodily injury leading to a concrete danger of death). Since bestiality was legal in the state of Washington at the time, that’s out too.
The only laws regulating sexual conduct that exist universally across all societies with codes of laws (much as they may not be applied consistently) are those prohibiting non-consensual sexual activity [**], sex with minors [**], and the consensual infliction of death or severe life-threatening injury.
So therefore, Ms Dion is admitting that the sexual ecstasy she found with her departed-and-possibly-returning partner was either rapey, paedophilic or murderous. Is this really the sort of behaviour we want celebrated in song?
[*] the song, of course, is written by Jim Steinman. I’m assuming in the absence of evidence to the contrary that it’s ghost-written for Ms Dion. Even if not, Ms Dion clearly identifies with and makes no attempt to criticise or distance herself from the character Mr Steinman has created.
[**] at least outside of marriage and subject to certain definitions.
- "the one genuine example of 'political correctness' is the one that stops us from saying 'racist' to describe racism" http://bit.ly/dnL8mD #
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- Crystal-ball-extrapolating: written news articles & blog content to remain free; ever-swishier paid apps to be created… #
- Great piece from Gary Younge on #torycuts. Irrespective of your ideology, it's simply correct: http://bit.ly/a0GrvG #
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- Oh, and that one was via @chickyog (bloody 140 limits, etc) #
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- Motorola gives up: http://bit.ly/97e19R #
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- A good Lord these days is hard to find: http://bit.ly/9xUkVv (via @copyrightgirl) #
- Insane Europhobic myths' Tom Lehrer moment: http://bit.ly/a34ju1 @nosemonkey @jonworth #
- RT @simontkey: A man is looking for the word that's in between contemporary & context in the dictionary. I have nothing but contempt for him #
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- As a leftie but also an economist: Ireland's debt's been downgraded because rating agencies are concerned about the breakup of the euro #
- …due to previously not (as) expected Spanish and Greek fails. Not due to the Irish budget cuts. #
- The UK budget cuts are stoopid, but anyone who cites bond ratings or yields as a reason for or against them is an eejit. #
- IKEA just won the "wine glass propelled off 1m high desk to floor without smashing" game. IKEA is better than any expensive suppliers… #
- Bed. Enjoy everything, everyone. Don't say I didn't tell you so. #
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- His aside on the way US culture means kids grow up without ever tasting wine, & implications for later life, is particularly interesting. #
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- RT @mpesce Have locked myself out of my flat. This is what happens when I rush. :( #
- Coincidence, or something a little more sinister? #
- I wonder who's lying here, and why? http://bit.ly/aWhApQ – this sort of thing literally does not happen, at least not in the way described #
- My best guess is that the posh walkers got some verbal abuse from the chavs and rather daftly had a go back at them, but ICBW. #
- OK, she's clever & they're a young company, but I don't think Facebook were wise to hire an 8-year-old as their lawyer: http://bit.ly/99H9og #
- This is bloody good -> RT @TheFirmOnline Editor's blog. The art of distraction over the Pan Am 103 fiasco- http://tinyurl.com/37e8l7m #
- Wow, babybarista's dad is officially excellent RT @babybarista: Lovely letter in Indy from my Dad Rob the Rubbish! http://bit.ly/dCa5aa #
- Grad tax advocates: why should a rich lawyer who went to uni pay more tax forever (once fees paid off) than a rich salesman? I don't get it. #
- Note to Americans: the Megrahi decision was entirely down to the Scotch, and the Dutch courage (gag ruthlessly stolen from elsewhere) #
- Alternative to grad tax: send fliers to all 6th forms saying "student loan isn't debt, as you don't have to pay it back unless you're rich" #
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- Fuck, apparently Peter Andre is British (UK born and passport, just grew up in Aus). Yet another thing we can't shift the blame for… #
- Good piece; can be shortened to "no, of course not, duh" RT @Heresy_Corner Was it wrong to release Megrahi? http://bit.ly/cy59W3 #
- Cillit Bang and French's buy Durex: http://bit.ly/9scCbg (via @annieauerbach @DrPetra, but the French's connection has been neglected) #
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- I Write Sins Not Tragedies #weddingdisco http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc #
- I've mentioned Nurofen twice on Twitter in the last 30 mins, despite not having a headache. Well, 3x now. Take that, text analysis bots! #
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- "[relative I've never met] is on vaginal speculum countdown" – yes, thank you Mr Zuckerberg for bringing that to my life. #fb #fml #
- Depressing thing: although this is awful and wrong – http://bit.ly/c9n9rV the UK does it already. #yestryingtobecomecitizenofsomewherebetter #
- Australians: on citizenship revocation, any idea re "it would be contrary to the public interest for you to remain an Australian citizen"? #
- Not personal deportation concerns, just wondering whether it's a stupid catch-all as in the UK, or whether people's rights are protected… #
- Been ignoring this one all day because *triggers*, but surely nobody who isn't mad can support the court here? http://tinyurl.com/3xay2zg #
- I like @CheerfulSheep. At this point, @chrissiem may make jokes about my heritage. That's OK, I've got a new white sweater for her to wear. #
- Interesting: unless specific politicians or hashtags are mentioned, there's no way to tell between #ukpolitics and #auspolitics in my feed #
- #deficit #infrastructure #cuts #railfail #refugees "there's no such thing as an 'unelected PM' you ignorant tit" "the Coalition are wankers" #
- You can see why I struggle, right? #alsothenextPMwillbebornintheUKwhoevertheyare #
- To the tune of Laid by James, please -> RT @emessen220: The club is alive with the sound of alcohol induced vomiting and bar fights. #
- OMFG geeklives converge. Everything today features geeklife convergence. #
- Haha, Mother Ted win: http://twitpic.com/4nsh1 (via @cheerfulsheep) #
- Peter Hartcher has missed the third element in population growth: deaths. Logically, JG must be planning to kill us all http://bit.ly/alDzdl #
- Either you believe in open borders, or you're a racist dickhead #harshfacts #
- Drinking pale ale. Almost wish it was off so I could tweet #palealefale #
- Amanda Fucking Palmer for the win (musically speaking): http://music.amandapalmer.net #
- On a Western Line city train. Nothing boganic has occurred so far. Sleeping Indian man behind me remains unbeaten. What gives, people? #
- RT @ArmyofDave: RT @davegentle: @ArmyofDave how much do cockneys pay for shampoo? pantenne #
- Still not in fucking Parramatta #stillnotinfuckingparramatta #
- Best "man goes to a Victorian brothel" sketch ever, from @realdmitchell: http://bit.ly/aopDct #
- In Melbourne with @chrissiem. Woo! Well, strictly speaking in a bus surrounded by fields somewhere not especially near Geelong. Yay Jetstar! #
- RT @missellabell: I absolutely just saw one black sheep on its own in a field of white ones. THE OUTCAST. #
- Rainfuckw #replacebowithfuck #
- Have utterly failed to see @stephenfry, despite ticket offers for Syd & Mel – sadly we're in the opposite cities from him at all times. :( #
- RT @5ChinCrack: This winter, I'm going snowfuckarding #replaceBowithfuck #
- Google image search (safe mode) for 'surprise buttsecks'. Is teh funny. #
- RT @thetearooms: Saying 'duff' for 'dough' and 'row' for 'rough.' Making Saturday exciting. #
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1) no act that is committed without malicious intent can ever be morally wrong, no matter what its consequences are.
2) if you are harmed by something that wasn’t malicious, you have an absolute moral duty to forgive whoever did it.
3) people who fail to forgive people who’ve non-maliciously harmed them are the worst of all people, and the only people I truly loathe and despise.
Sometimes, people judge on outcomes. For example, the excitable Twitter idiot johnb78:
For example: anyone who thinks that Paul Foot is a bad man because James Hanratty turned out guilty is a worthless idiot – because although JH was guilty, he shouldn’t have been hanged on the falisfied evidence that was presented in his case. See also: OJ. I’m not mournful for the rapist and murderer Hanratty, but Paul Foot is absolutely right that he shouldn’t have been convicted.
On the other hand, people sometimes judge on excellence:
When a knight won his spurs, in the stories of old,
He was gentle and brave, he was gallant and bold;
With a shield on his arm and a lance in his hand
For God and for valour he rode through the land.
No charger have I, and no sword by my side,
Yet still to adventure and battle I ride,
Though back into storyland giants have fled,
And the knights are no more and the dragons are dead.
Let faith be my shield and let joy be my steed
‘Gainst the dragons of anger, the ogres of greed;
And let me set free, with the sword of my youth,
From the castle of darkness the power of the truth.
Update: this post makes no sense. For those struggling to connect it with reality, When A Knight Won His Spurs was written by Joyce Maxtone-Graham, whose nephew wrote many of the best Simpsons episodes.
Yes, I know MGM (or, more accurately, the latest in a long bunch of shysters to own the rights to the MGM name and to make James Bond movies) are in serious financial trouble.
But if I was in serious financial trouble, and I owned a money tree, but I couldn’t afford to harvest the money tree due to my serious financial trouble, then I’d sell someone the rights to the next harvest of my money tree. Then, I might be able to do the following money tree harvest myself. At a worst case, the money tree’s money crop hasn’t just rotted on the branches.
So I’m genuinely perplexed about the weird machinations that mean we’re not going to get another Bond movie until forever. What incentive have MGM’s management got to not sell the rights to make a new Bond (which will make copious quantities of money, unequivocally) to someone with dollars, rather than sitting around making nothing until they go painfully bust?
I suspect it’s an accounting / US law / principal-agent problem, but would appreciate guidance from anyone who either knows, or can come up with a vaguely sensible reason for MGM’s management to do what they’re currently doing…
Playing on certain racial insecurities by telling dark skinned people that they can never really be beautiful – that’s what Unilever is doing… These products promote ethnocentric stereotypes about the superiority of white people.
Hmm. So in two sentences accusing Unilever of racism, she’s managed two rather irritating, patronising – and indeed, accidentally racist – mistakes.
The first is ‘non-white-European people don’t have opinions or make decisions’. So if Hindustan Unilever comes up with a marketing campaign, it must be because a white man in London told them to.
Great… except for the fact that Unilever’s Asian marketing operation is run by an Indian man in Mumbai, is locally devised and locally executed, and London doesn’t pre-approve campaigns.
The second is ‘the US-derived model of white-European versus everyone else is the only way to view prejudices and stereotypes based on skin colour’. So obviously if people in India are being told that lighter skin is better, that’s so they can be more like Europeans and less like Indians.
Great… except for the fact that the Indian preference for paler skin has absolutely cock-all to do with wanting to be European, and a great deal more to do with the fact that within India, long before the British invasion, the ruling castes have been paler-skinned than the workers (partly because they’re more likely to be of Persian descent, and partly because they don’t spend their time working in the hot sun).
Once you stop viewing non-European cultures through the prism of European race relations, playing on people’s desire to appear lighter is no worse than playing on their desire to appear less spotty or wrinkly. So if people from European cultures object to this campaign any more strongly than they’d object to a campaign for an anti-wrinkle cream, they’re basically telling Indians that they have to follow European values. Which is distinctly Not Cool.
The office manager/PA/secretary at my current workplace is a thoroughly excellent sort, and is absolutely aces at office managing, PA-ing, etc. However, an IT procurement expert she is not – and listening to her on the phone to IT vendors is more than a little painful. The *headdesks* and *facepalms* on the other end of the phone are pretty much audible from here…
- These guys reckon Australia is top per capita at CO2 emissions: http://bit.ly/6YSl0V @ozcjr #
- And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom… RT @JuliaGillard We [are] shaping a better future, going forward not back. #
- Great piece on the illiberal stupidity of banning the veil: http://nyti.ms/b62QYG (via @sunnysingh_sw6) #
- Haha, Fresher's Week-tastic: http://bit.ly/cDsZj9 – yay representative democracy. #
- Starbucks is moving into wine cafes, French-style: http://bit.ly/9KXb36 – interesting, but I wonder if American puritanism will tolerate it? #
- Alan Johnson in "even more of a prick than Theresa May" shock: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/10592123.stm #
- In "googling at work with the filter off" news, I have just discovered that Teresa May != Theresa May. #
- Re Jackie O pregnancy, getting knocked up at the age of 81 when you've been dead for 16 years is something of a medical first @fictillius #
- "I'm not motivated by the money" says emerging recording artist Coco Sumner: http://bit.ly/9xXBNe #perhapstheycouldhavepickedabetterexample #
- If all Tory cuts involved axeing pointless quangos like the FSA, then I'd be 100% in favour: http://gu.com/p/2tahv/ip #
- Convo from FB: "What're the chances of anyone being at work in Spain today? Fuck all I'd have thought…" "So it's a normal Monday then?" #
- It seems odd that people are citing the BSE scandal as a reason not to axe the Food Standards Agency. #
- After all, the most notable thing about the BSE scandal is that *we didn't all die, because it all turned out to be nonsense*… #
- …not that this stops the daft buggers in the Australian Red Cross from *still* banning Brits from giving blood, though. #
- "If the Daily Mail's against it, I'm for it" remains a good rule of thumb: http://bit.ly/9fo1w1 #
- Sensible comment on CiF on the FSA's abolition: http://bit.ly/aFsxQ2 #
- NEWSFLASH: if you're fat it's because you're greedy and/or lazy: the only thing that causes obesity is consuming more calories than you use. #
- You may have a medical condition that makes you greedy (e.g. Prader-Willi) and/or lazy (e.g. depression), but that's a second-order point. #
- So far, Iran seems to be doing better than Texas as "not executing probably innocent people following outrageously unfair show trials". #
- Therefore, we should invade Texas and install a liberal regime #canwe #pleasecanwe #
- Re Polanski: the people to blame are the US officials who failed to file the paperwork, not the Swiss judges who followed the law. #
- I know that under the UK's agreement with the US, paperwork's unnecessary, but the Swiss have higher standards… #
- Loving the Barefoot Bandit. The world needs more hilarious, exciting, *fun* criminality… #
- CROWDSOURCE: bag of sweets & ride in my car to whoever finds someone saying McKinnon verdict is EVIL while also slating Polanski verdict… #
- EPIC FAIL: RT @j_freedland I stand corrected on my observation re non-singing of national anthem by Spain team: no words to it since 1978. #
- This is a great post, with a great title: http://bit.ly/d7rX6p #evilplanninglaws #evilericpickles #
- This is dead dead good: http://icio.us/yj2hlj #ww2 #satire, reminiscent of http://bit.ly/GkrEq #
- I recognise this isn't really news, but Christ, Janet Street-Porter is an idiot. It's nice to be 17,000km from her: http://bit.ly/cDcE1z #
- If I was accused of a serious crime I hadn't done, and was instead offered a plea bargain that kept me out of jail, I'd probably take it. #
- And if the judge then said "actually, sod the plea bargain, I'm going to send you to jail after all", I'd feel justifiably pissed off. #
- I'm not, incidentally, defending Polanski-the-man, and I have nothing but contempt for people who think his art exempts him from punishment. #
- (I also have nothing but contempt for people who think his personal vices devalue his art, of course…) #
- However, I don't think protection of law should apply any less to people accused of sex offences than to people accused of other offences. #
- Finally on Polanski, it also riles me that testimony that was never tested by the court is unquestioningly accepted as FACT. No, it ain't. #
- NOTE TO IDIOTS: in neither England nor California is "statutory rape" a concept. Unless you shag a stone icon of Mrs Thatcher, which [etc] #
- US in 'seriously pathetic' shock & awe: http://www.tumblr.com/xrkdc8igt (via @johnhalton) – yes, of course we underage-drank, but THE CHILDRENS!!! #
- Worst understanding of sexual offences law EVAH -> RT @coxar @johnb78 sex with a minor is by definition non-consensual. Do you disagree? #
- Good rule to remember: "The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true" #
- Latest tweet from @BPGlobalPR (lame satire) rather gives the lie to "BP anger isn't just Americans being racist fucktards", doesn't it? #
- Wow, I'm following @SarahPalinUSA. I must have been bloody drunk when I clicked that one… #
- Incidentally, the fact that Twitter allows followees to DM followers without the ability to reply to the DM is an EPIC FAIL. #
- If the French senate approves the ban on the burqa, anyone up for a mass burqa-wearing holiday to Paris? (via @beatniksalad) #
- I did not know that residents of Phoenix, AZ, were referred to as Phoenicians. That's really rather cool. http://bit.ly/9gvoZ5 #
- Apologies @bpglobalpr. I still think they're wrong about Megrahi, but not that they're mindless Brit-bashers. #
- If you don't think Lockerbie was Iran's (evil) revenge for the US (evilly) murdering a plane of Iranian civilians, you're a silly person. #
- Anyone who still has any belief in Megrahi's guilt should read this: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n18/gareth-peirce/the-framing-of-al-megrahi #
- Fuck Tony Blair. Fuck him to death: http://ht.ly/2b810 (via @thabet1979) #
- Ok, so the new UK government is just as petty and evil as the last one: http://bit.ly/aKiZpN – I'm retracting @chickyog's point-win… #
- Best money-saving political suggestion EVAH: http://bit.ly/adNbK4 #crowdsourcingpolicyisareallystupididea #whodvethunkit #
- In other news, don't copy and paste from Wiki, you cretins: http://bit.ly/bNeGhB (via @naomimc) #
- Via Jamie, who's sadly only on web 1.0, this is aces: http://www.ctbto.org/specials/1945-1998-by-isao-hashimoto/ #
- DAMN YOU, @fictillius!!! #
- This is on the money, but terribly subbed. Almost like cost pressures compromised quality: http://bit.ly/9fHUp4 #yesIusedtoworkforMikeDanson #
- Obvious, but needs saying: if you sympathise *at all in any way* with Raoul Moat, you are a worthless scumbag. #
- I'm a fan of the word "c(ons)u(lta)nt". #
- Who does more harm, woo-merchants or MI6? Not convinced the answer is necessarily the latter… @chickyog @dnotice #
- The excellent @realdmitchell is right, of course: http://bit.ly/9ueufJ #pubs #
- Either @sun has decided to destroy the world in fiery inferno form, or it's getting its temperature measures rather wrong at the moment… #
- Wow, dressing as a sparkly-white version of Mrs T and quoting Kang and Kodos is, apparently, the way to win elections #ausvotes #twirling #
- Inspiration for the PM's outfit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840B27zYfOk #ausvotes #
- One Last Knob Song #changelovetoknobsongs #
- I haz messed up. Not entirely sure how I haz messed up, but pretty certain that I haz messed up. #
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- Great Jim Henley piece on 'high road' vs 'low road' policies (eg diplomacy vs war, or investigation vs torture): http://bit.ly/cokCqu #
- Weird to watch people commenting on the Megrahi case as if he were the Lockerbie bomber. While, as a Libyan intelligence officer, he's… #
- …doubtless a nasty piece of work, his (and, indeed, Libya's) lack of involvement in Lockerbie are both now almost certain. #
- *Please* can we start a campaign to encourage the Daily Mail to go paywall-only? (concept via @gimpyblog…) #
- Australia-press-wise, I'd be delighted if the News titles went paywall and the Fairfax ones stayed free. a) vile b) mediocre with good bits #
- .@marshallw where's my fucking hoverboard? #
- Fuck the WHAT? RT @sunny_hundal: The government is increasing the threshold required to dissolve Parliament from 55% to 2/3rds of all MPs #
- Of course they're all straight; straight as a line. Joe Jackson FTW, Youtube him #ebz http://fallenlondon.com/c/141153 #
- It's depressing that the UK'll have a referendum on 'completely uncontroversial ways of not being mad' that may still fail. #alternativevote #
- Agree; worth preserving RT @sunny_hundal If Labour oppose AV now they'll just end up splitting their own base and looking very unprincipled. #
- Reminded of this by a FB friend: Australia's finest son – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN002ejgC6I #
- For the Coalition. LD supporters count as the $50: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcdtVD8X1-A #
- Thanks to @mudlarklives for reminding me of Mr Lehrer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs is still the best piece of Cold War media ever #
- Me-from-1995 likes the fact that in the future, I get to recommend satirical videos to @martincarr. That almost makes up for hoverboards. #
- FIFA = morons. What possible commercial benefit do they gain from banning goal clips (ie 'more eyeballs for their sponsors') from YouTube? #
- Struggling to work out whether this chocolate ad is awesome or a bit racially dodgy: http://mumbrella.com.au/hello-chocolate-lovers-29373 #
- Today, like most Coalition days, is one of those days when I'm glad I live in Australia. Sorry, UK, you fucked up. #
- Confused by @AdamBienkov here. The fact that you don't find nonce jokes funny doesn't stop them from being jokes: http://bit.ly/bQ4D71 #
- Remembering 7/7 – very good Grauniad editorial: http://bit.ly/dbkxFd #
- Wow, the "world's most complete and utter miserable dickhead" award has a strong new nominee: http://bit.ly/bJK6iS (via @dnotice) #
- The Economist's former Charlemagne, now Bagehot, off to an excellent start on the BBC: http://bit.ly/9FMyAc #
- Enjoying my brief status as minor Twitter celebrity. Not enjoying NSW's rugby form… #
- Damn, this is good – an old dsquared post, grabbed from the memory archives by @stabprin: http://bit.ly/9WAKeD #
- #ebz is less fun since I completed it, but that still won't stop me playing, dammit… http://fallenlondon.com/c/143763 #
- Things I like about Australia, #1: @netbank aren't incompetent thieving bastards, unlike all UK banks. #
- Things I like about Australia, #2: ordering my morning coffee with four adjectives. #
- Random unexpected things I like about Australia, #1: @netbank aren't incompetent thieving bastards, unlike all UK banks. #
- Random unexpected things I like about Australia, #2: ordering my morning coffee with four adjectives. #
- Another US journalist sacked for not cravenly supporting Israel: http://yhoo.it/9Csr4f #freespeech #wossatthen? #
- He might've turned out less of a dick, though -> RT @ebertchicago Rush Limbaugh wouldn't be where he is today if he hadn't been born white. #
- Stock image FAIL: http://bit.ly/ck4HRe (wrong builder, wrong operator, wrong state, built 20 years apart, anything else wrong…?) #
- Outrageous homophobic discrimination in Surry Hills ;-) – http://twitpic.com/23dlm9 #
- Friday, woo. Four hours impending of boring and frustrating cut and paste, boo. #
- Wow, Everton's away kit is impressive. #
- One person here has a vuvuleza. Every time he blows it, 1000 fans boo him… #
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